"No not the movie. Just love." Shane explains as soon as she realises Helena’s precise English has totally thrown me…yet again!

Taking a sip of my drink I swallow sharply as I feel my stomach clench at the word. Suddenly another change in topic seems like an excellent idea.

"Oh well that’s a great topic! Let’s talk about that." I blurt out before I have the time to stop myself.

"Was that sarcasm I heard?" Bette asks as she nudges me slightly and grins. I have so much respect for my friends right now because they never stop supporting me even though I’ve turned into the wicked witch of the west.

Sighing heavily I shake my head. I can feel another rant coming on even though I’ve almot made myself sucidal with my constant moaning.

"Come on, Bette, you know as well as I do that there’s no such thing as real love. It’s all fucked up!"

"You think we shouldn’t fall in love?" Jenny asks innocently. I swear that girl learns nothing from past experience!

"I think if you want to stay sane you should avoid it at all costs. I don’t believe in love anymore." There I’ve finally said it.

"Oh Alice!" Helena cuts in her voice sympathetic. "Of course you think that now but don’t give up on it all together. In the end we all need and want somebody to care about in that way."

"Yeah and we’ve all had somebody for all the fucking good it’s done us." I reply quickly, I think it’s time for some home truths. "What’s so great about love? Shane had it until she realised she couldn’t commit and walked out of her own wedding. Now she walks around as though someone just ran over her puppy. Bette, you had it until Tina turned straight and now your forced to kidnap your own daughter just to prove a point! Helena thought she had it and ended up with a sexual harrasment case, Jenny found Moira until Moira found Max and I’m not even going start on how fucking screwed up that is!" I pause momentarily to clear the lump from my throat as my thoughts return to Dana. "And then you’ve got me! I find my soul mate but she breaks my fucking heart then dies! I mean look at us guy’s…" I gesture around the solemn table. "What happened? Three years a go we’d have been sat here laughing and joking, totally loving life. Now we’re just miserable and depressed. If that’s what love does for ya, you can leave me out!"