"It’s okay, Kit." Lara smiles gently. "You don’t have to apologise I actually agree with you. Don’t get me wrong I loved, Dana…so much." Her eyes become distant and watery as she talks about her ex-girlfriend and even though I can’t forgive her for stealing Dana from me, I also can’t doubt the truth in her words. "But I don’t believe in all this one true love shit. I believe that regardless of how many times you get your heart broken, love is still always out there waiting for you to find it. You just have to be brave and strong enough to keep looking."

Her last words are directed at me and as our eyes meet across the table I find myself desperate to tear my gaze away from her hypnotic blue depths. She can’t possibly see a future for us can she? I mean she can’t really believe that I could possibly love anyone else after Dana? Feeling uncomfortable I break eye contact with her and return my attention back to the chart on my laptop. Gabby Deveaux’s latest connections suddenly seem far more interesting then my friend’s conversation!

"You know what, Lara, you are so fucking right!" Shane cuts in with new found enthusiasm. "Enough of the great depression guy’s let’s put our troubles and heartaches behind us and start having fun again. come on…" Reaching into the center of the table she stretches her hand out to signal a pact. "To never giving up on finding true love."

Jenny is the first to comply and quickly covers her best friends hand with her own. I watch amazed as one by one the entire table follows Shane’s lead. In a second all eyes turn to me and my hands which are still resting on my laptop.

"Al?" Shane asks expectantly as she gestures to the their joined hands.

As I scan the group I can see them all silently encouraging me to join in. For a split second I nearly give in, even if it’s only to give my friend’s some hope that I can and will get over losing Dana…twice! However as soon as my eyes meet Lara’s and the hope held in her soft expression I pull back. I just can’t do it, moving on is not an option for me. Dana was the one and now she’s gone I’ll never live another day that doesn’t hurt. Shaking my head I quickly close my laptop and stand up.

"I…I gotta go." Finally my brain manages to invent an excuse to escape. "I’ve got a meeting with Ruth at the station."

My body shaking I grab my things and head for the exit without so much as a goodbye to my friends. As I open the door to leave I hear a loud cheer.

"To never giving up!"

My friends voices are quickly followed by laughter and a small part of me wishes that I was still there with them. I’m pleased that they all feel ready to move on with their lives and I find myself slghtly jealous of them. Without another thought I step out into the LA sunshine and prepare myself to face another day.

tbc