“I’ll talk to you in the morning,” I told him abruptly as I quickly took flight from the room. He did not have time to react and I was down the hall and into Mary’s room, shutting the door behind me.

Mary was still at her desk, across the room from me. I was so shaken that I just stood there and leaned back against the door. Tears fell uncontrollably down my face. All I could think of was that I wanted Bette. I wanted to call her. I wanted to be with her but Mary turned around and saw me crying.

“What’s wrong mom?” she asked with immediate concern. She got up to walk toward me. “Why are you crying?”

“We have to talk, Mary.” I told her, through my tears.

“About what?”

“Things are going to be changing for us,” I told her. She turned and went back to her desk, grabbed a few tissues from a box and handed them to me. I took them and wiped my face. Then I held my hands up for her to be quiet as I listened at the door. I heard nothing.

“Just go back to your school work for now and we’ll talk when you’re through.”

“I can be through. It’s just repetitious.”

Her door suddenly opened and my heart sank. Howie looked terrible.

His eyes were red, his cheeks were flushed. He stood there looking angry, his eyebrows drawn together toward the middle of his forehead.

“We weren’t through.” he said to me.

“I would rather we talked in the morning,” I told him, coldly.

“What’s going on?” asked Mary.

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped at her.

I stepped in front of her, protectively. Howie had never hit any of us or abused us in any deliberate way. I was not afraid of that but I did not want him blurting anything out in front of our daughter. I wanted to tell her about Bette in my own way.

“Howie, listen to me,“ I said in almost a whisper. “We all know how head strong you can get when you drink like this and I think you’ve had more than your share tonight. For Mary’s sake; for my sake; and for your sake, please just go to bed and we’ll finish our conversation in the morning.”

He weaved back and forth for a moment and looked at us alternately.

“Go to bed dad,” said Mary.

Thank God she said that.

“Please, Howie,” I added.

He bowed his head for a moment and then turned to go down the hall to our bedroom. I watched him go and followed discreetly behind him. I saw him go to the bed and flop down on it. I let out a sigh of relief. I knew he would be out like a light. I shut his door quietly, then turned to see Mary in her doorway looking confused. I walked up to her, took her hand and led her into the great room.