“Lilly what is wrong?” Bette asked.

“Let’s sit.” She said. They sat down in the living room.

“Lilly I swear please just tell me.” Bette said.

“I want to know that I am breaking Her confidence when I tell you this, but I know that you need to hear it before you see Jess. I wanted to call you on Saturday when it all started but she wouldn’t let me. She threatened to run to England if I did so. When I agreed to let her stay I made her tell me why. She said she didn’t want to leave but she was afraid that if she didn’t things would never change and the boys and Angelica would never know you or Tina like she does.” Lilly started to explain.

“Teddy told me something Jess thinking that I am two different people.” Bette said.

“She does in a way. She describes it as you almost having two different personalities. She didn’t notice it until she got her memory back after the accident. She that you have two modes and so does Tina. You both have a mommy mode and a mom mode. The describes the first as someone is open and kind. Someone who is always there to listen. Some one that holds you when you are sick and when you aren’t. She said it never clicked until that night you sat with her and went the albums. She says she saw someone she hadn’t seen in a long time. The mommy she once had. You have to understand she doesn’t blame you or hate you for changing because that’s what people do. She is glad that you and Tina have followed your dreams. She says it makes feel good to know that you can have everything and be happy. She wants the old you back just some of the time.” Lilly said.

“Why didn’t she just say that?” Bette asked.

“She tried the night she left but you didn’t get it. She said that when she was little you could tell what she was thinking or how she felt just by looking at her, and that you didn’t have that with any of the others. That is why she left she knew that the only way you and Tina would get that was by being alone with them.” Lilly said.

“She was right. It was the only way. I see that I do, but I want her to come home. I miss her so much.” Bette said. She was starting to cry.

“She wants to come home too. She misses you more than either of us knows. That brings us to now. Saturday we were sitting around the pool. Megan was here. Jess got a horrible headache and it didn’t go away. So Monday Al and I took her to the doctor. He said it was bad migraines and was just something that happened when someone has a brain injury. He gave her a steroid to help prevent the migraine and some pain medicine to take when they occurred. She had been taking them both until Wednesday. She started having nightmares after taking the Pain medicine. The doctor said that the medicine relaxed her so that it made her sleep better than she had in a long time. She screams for you Bette. Over and Over in her sleep. She quit taking it so she wouldn’t have the night mares.” Lilly said.

“Where is she?” Bette demanded.

“She is upstairs in her room. She left your class today because she was starting to have an attack.” Lilly said. Bette hurried up the stairs.

She opened the door to the room where Jess usually stayed when they spent the night there. The room was pitch dark and silent. Jess was laying with her head under the pillows on the bed. She was crying.

Bette walked to the bed and crawled on it.

“Don’t worry baby. Mommy’s here. Everything is going to be okay.” She said rubbing Jess’s back.

“It hurts.” Jess said appearing from under the pillows.

“Here take your pills.” Bette said handing her the bottle.

“But.” Jess said.

“I will be right here I am not going anywhere I promise. Never again.” Bette said. Jess took the pills and laid her head in Bette’s lap. Bette stoked her hair until she fell asleep.