I laugh. She is asking her boyfriend for permission to have sex with me. I am getting a kick out of it. He responds. “You mean as in you and her going at it?”

“Duh” She responds. She is letting me read the entire conversation since I have to know the result anyway.

“You are allowed to do whatever you want. It would be a little awkward for me though.” I have to admit I am a little bit upset by this answer.

Ashley looks at me and mentions how he never said no and that we could always just blame the tequila. I smile.

They continue texting and she shows me one of his messages. It reads, “Please don’t be mad. I just wouldn’t be comfortable with it.”

I glance at Ashley. “So it was a no…” She says and leaves it at just that. I dump the ice from my glass and guzzle the rest of it. It is amazingly delicious.

I look at Ashley’s glass and she had only drunk a little bit of it, so I assumed that she couldn’t be very intoxicated. So I sent her inside to get me another since I felt as though I would fall.

So are you guys just going to sit on the porch acting like drunken idiots all night?

You’re so mean, Voice! We are having fun!

Every word I say sounds dramatic in my drunken slur. When Ashley returns with my drink, I drink a quarter of it down and cuddle up to her under the blanket. I realize that my hands are literally numb from the cold weather. Or it could be from the alcohol content.

I look up at Ashley. I, for the first time in a long time, allow the truth to affect me. She is beautiful and I am stunned. I haven’t let myself get stunned by her beauty in a good bit of time. But I am drunk, so of course my guard was down.

She moves her face closer to mine and begins kissing me. Her lips felt amazing against mine. For a split second I wonder what happened to the cigarette that was in her hand only a second ago, but that thought goes away quickly when she tangles her hand into my hair.