I can’t fucking take it anymore. I need her clothes gone, but I need to not get in trouble for it. “I so want to, right here right now. But my parents are awake and that door is open.”

We both sit up as she speaks. “Okay let’s go.”

We stand up and only collect the few things that were absolutely needed. As we walk through the living room, I avoid eye contact with my parents. They know – they aren’t stupid. I’m not trying to keep it a secret, but I’m trying to avoid busting out laughing at how unlucky they are to have me as a kid.

As we pass by the bathroom, Ashley excuses herself and tells me that she will meet me in the room. I’m moving quickly and frantically. In my drunken state, I am careless about anything but my increasing libido. I noticed the many various items on my bed that would just get in the way. There was a pencil box, a notebook, a pen, a phone charger, the charger for my laptop and papers. I gather it all into one pile and toss it across the room. I intended for it to land in the chair, but it scattered all on its own.

I jump in the bed, and remove my jacket and shirt. Oddly enough, sex was not the reason for it. When you’re drunk, the fewer clothes you have on – the more free you feel. I reach to my nightstand for my stereo remote. I turn it on, not caring which CD is in there. I turn the volume up and lay down, realizing that I had done all of that in less than a minute.

Ashley takes another half of a minute and begins walking into the room.

Is that nerves that I’m sensing in you?

A little bit, yes.

You have done this with this girl a million times and you’re nervous now. It is really just official. You are way too complex for me to understand.

I’m nervous for a specific reason. It is never an easy task getting her off. According to past patterns, she only reaches her climax with me once every other time. She’s due for a no-go.