Don’t drink too much.

Wow, suddenly the voice has after-school-special advice?

I’m just saying. You are running off of two hours of sleep. So when you drink a little bit, it is going to hit like you drank a lot. And you get horny when you drink. Imagine how bad off you will be when you’re incredibly fucked up.

Fine, I won’t drink any more than I think I can handle. I will pace myself.

I had caught another two hour nap on the couch before Ashley called to announce her arrival. I can’t seem to think past ten o’clock. I’m going to be asleep so fast. Shit, that is no good. How do I stay awake?

If you keep your mouth running and you keep moving, you should stay awake just fine.

So, you’re saying I should act like a crack head? I should pace and talk a million miles a minute. That sounds like a great idea, Voice. And please tell me you caught onto that sarcasm.

I caught onto it, thank you very much. And hey, all I’m saying is to keep your mouth and hands busy, if you catch my drift.

Do you know what the word boyfriend means? That means no.

Once Ashley gets to my place we delve right into the alcohol. I grab two large cups from the cabinet and ask my mom if she would like one. She only wants about a half a shot of tequila in hers. That’s okay though, more for us. Ashley is busy putting crushed ice and tequila in our cups.

I watch closely. Each glass is filled three fourths of the way with alcohol and the other fourth with Strawberry-Lime margarita mix. I knew right then that we weren’t just getting drunk. We were going to get wasted!

We sit on the futon on the porch and start conversation about nothing at all. She is texting her boyfriend and holding conversation at the same time. She won’t have that brain capacity later. She is already feeling the alcohol and she hasn’t even drunk a quarter of her drink.

She shows me her phone. She wants me to see the text she just sent her boyfriend. It says “Spencer + Ashley + Tequila =?”