“Hey, I’m not saying it to make you feel bad. I just wasn’t expecting it. Once it sinks in I’ll be fine.” I say easily and lightly.

She held a long pause before saying the last thing I expected her to say. “Well one more time isn’t going to hurt anything.”

She is genuine, you know. She loves you and she wants that last time just as bad as you do.

Voice, you pick shitty times to have intelligent input. “No, Ash you can’t just go breaking rules. It’s okay, like I said; it just needs to sink in.”

And you pick shitty timing to be chivalrous.

“Babe, really it’s okay. We break rules all the time anyway. I think our entire friendship is comprised of breaking rules.”

We drop the subject there. There is no telling what is going to happen tomorrow. Part of me is excited because I get to drink with my best friend. But the part of me that doesn’t know what to expect is nervous. Will she try to hook up? If she does, should I try to stop her?

Do you really think you could stop yourself? You must be high on stupid. You can’t even keep in touch with your self control when you’re sober. Or did you forget that you would be drinking with the intentions of getting drunk?

I think if I try hard enough, I can say no. I would like to believe I could anyway.

Newsflash, you can’t. It’s Ashley fucking Davies. You never have been able to resist her. You never will be.

I’m tired, I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Voice.

My head hit the pillow and immediately my thoughts carried me away. I did not sleep that night. Instead of spending my time restlessly tossing and turning in bed, I used my time productively. I cleaned my room, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. Even then I was bored for hours.

In my downtime on the couch I fell asleep. I didn’t dream – I didn’t have the time to. My phone woke me up. It was Aiden.

“Muh Hello?” I answered

“You fell asleep didn’t you?”

“Yeah, a little bit. Sorry”

“Well wake up, I’m on my way to bring you the alcohol.”