3 months…

Change…it’s something we fear, and it’s something we avoid at all costs. Sometimes fear is good, then again, some is bad as well…

For example, when your best friend is going through withdrawal and has withdrawal affects every two hours is bad change and good change. Knowing change and dealing with change are two very different things.

“hey are you ok?” I asked her as I noticed she started sweating

“yeah, no I’m…I’m fine…” she stuttered and said quickly then her sweat started picking up and she started shaking from the cold “gah I cant take this anymore!” she yelled as she brought her knees to her chest and I went to grab a towel to wipe the sweat from her

“it’ll be ok…” I tried to convince her

“Spencer it hurts so bad…I’m so cold…” she said starting to cry, and even though I see her like this nearly everyday…each day breaks my heart more than the last

“you’ll be ok…I know you will…” I said sitting next to her and she laid her head on my lap still shaking and I tried to warm her up, but at this point that never worked…about thirty minutes later she fell asleep because the withdrawal affects exhausted her then I slowly dabbed the sweat from her face and off of her arms taking the sweat covered hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

Three Weeks Ago:::

“Do you see what you’ve done to yourself?! Do you see this hole you’ve dug yourself into!” I yelled at her as she took the tourniquet from her arm

“I know ok! I know! Damnit Spencer! You think my life is easy? I’m miserable! I don’t know what to do anymore or who I am!” she yelled back at me

“you’re my best friend! And your family may not care about you or need you, but I sure as fucking hell do!” I yelled at her “what are you even thinking!” I begged her for an answer

“trying to dig my own grave ok! I don’t need to be…” she started to yell until her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed onto the floor and blood slowly ran from the hole where she has ripped the needle out…