“You can’t be serious….there has to be more than that?”

“I know there is more. I mean……I took the regime…..and……then I woke up…..at home……and then………I don’t remember…….”

“Shane…….”

I try to think about the timeline and I get nothing. All I see is my life at home with nothing to do locked in my vacancy.

“I was never good at time. I came home a lot….from being on the road….I would walk my dog……listen to music…….maybe watch a movie. I wouldn’t go out…..I didn’t have any real friends…..so time just disappeared……I never thought about it. I would go home and wait for the next job…….then my dog died. I mean I came home….and she was dead………Alice was supposed to watch her.”

“Who is Alice?” Jealousy in her eyes….it said it all.

“No one.” The look she gives me…..she could melt me with the laser beams that came out.  “I am serious Carmen…….Alice is just someone I work with….”

“Ok…..so when did the nosebleeds start? You said they started before the tracer…..so when did they start?”

I look at her. Fancy for her she has the lingo down………

“……… I guess it started in Toronto……..I got this noise, this humming……. low grade buzz…………I thought it was about me making choices……but now………its that noise. Its been here in my head since I got back from the artic………..something happened to me in the artic……….that is where this begins.”

“Ok now we are getting somewhere……which exit?”

“Stay on the left………..”

We don’t talk anymore about that.

 I have been watching her. Watching her when she is not looking, when we are not wrapped in each other. She has in all the hours of driving choked back tears on at least 5 separate times. Its killing her what happened to her family. I know it is. I don’t know how to make her feel better. I don’t even know how to try. I stare out the window rather than have her catch me staring at her misery.

Something…….some strange memory…..barely clinging to the surface of me.

Something……

This warehouse in Jersey is my getaway from it all. I would be hard pressed if I found The Agency knew of its existence. I bought it with cash; the lease reads that it is rented out to a Jacky Lamiarillo. Jacky Lamiarillo has no idea he owns this particular warehouse. It would not matter because he owns them all in this neighborhood. Its tucked nicely away amongst a cluster of buildings. Some 45 warehouses and I own number 37.  I routed the power and phones myself……….poor Jacky……..he doesn’t know.