Fan Fiction
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Sex, Lies, and Videotape 2
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“Yay, Bette!” Alice cheered, jumping up. “Well, it’s been great chilling out with you, Bubba, but we have to be moving on. We’ve got more crimes to commit. You know how it is.”
Bubba nodded and waved at them as they crowded around the cell door, waiting for the officer to unlock it.
They heard loud shouts as another officer pushed a strange-looking trio toward the cell. There was a woman with reddish curly hair shouting obscenities, a large woman with blonde dreadlocks and a cello, and a black woman.
“These three go in, and those two come out,” the second officer explained, pointing. “These ones here were disturbing the peace.”
As they were shoved into the cell, the curly-haired woman turned around while the door was sliding shut. “***** you!” she shouted, lifting up her shirt to expose her ***** and flashing the officer two middle fingers.
“Is she allowed to have that cello in there?” Dana asked, glad to be out of the cell.
The second officer shrugged. “Whenever we try to take it from her, she starts screaming.”
Alice reached through the bars and let her fingers graze the cello. The dread locked woman threw her head back and began to yodel, the cello pressed tightly to her overflowing bosom.
“Was that an *****?” Dana whispered in amazement.
“I gotta get me one of those cellos,” Alice said, eyes wide.
“***** you!” the curly-haired woman shouted while flipping off Bubba, who was eyeing her hungrily.
“What’s your name?” Bubba asked, licking her lips.
“They call me EZgirl!” the woman answered, looking proud.
“Easy, huh?” Bubba responded, grabbing EZgirl in her large arms and pulling her into her lap. “Come here and snuggle with me. Ole Bubba’s feeling a little lonely.”
EZgirl’s eyes widened in horror.
The officers led Alice and Dana away as the mournful melodies of the cello began to play behind them. Alice began humming along. “She’s not half bad with that thing. That song sounds familiar.” She cocked her head thoughtfully and began singing softly. “Girls in tight dresses – “
Dana covered Alice’s mouth with her hand. “You’ll shut up now if you want to go on living.”
“Okay, okay,” Alice conceded, pulling away as they entered the station’s lobby. “Hey, there’s Bette!”
Bette rushed over to them, and Alice immediately opened her arms for a hug. Bette instead grabbed her by the ear and began pulling Alice along behind her. Dana obediently trailed behind them, her head down as Bette began yelling.
“Calm down, Porter,” Alice exclaimed, pulling her ear free as they stepped out of the police station. “You don’t wanna mess with me. I’m hardcore now. I’ve seen things in there that humans were never meant to see. Things that would blow your mind.”
“Oh shut up, Al,” Bette replied, rolling her eyes and cuffing Alice on the back of the head as she unlocked the Saab.
“Ow!” Alice rubbed at the back of her head. Catching Bette’s glare, she sighed. “Yes, Mom,” she said weakly, sliding into the backseat of the car beside Dana.
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ROTFLMAO that was too funnay, i hope theres another chapter, glad you decided to continue…
that was soo damn hilarious..better than the first…two thumbs up for the comedy and crazy situations you put the Danish in!! Loved the massage scene..especially when Dana “squirted right out of Alice’s grasp”…soo LOL there, cause I could soo see that happening!! Hmm…me thinks you should write another!!
I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Are they Lucy and Ricky or Lucy and Ethel? Dana is the perfect “straight man” for Alice – who is a lovable lunatic!!! lol
Bunny? Betty? Cello? Have you’ve been lurking on the Erin thread or are you a secret member of the Furverts? My sides hurts from laughing, I think I might have busted a rib from this exercise. Wait for my doc’s bill:p. Loved this, haven’t laughed this hard in long time!
I thought the first one was funny but you keep bring it home. LMAO Al and Dana make a great comedy duo.
hey gfreat story u gt here plz post again soon, as in tomoz if possible hehehehehe, i would like 2 say i hope you carry on with this story its goooooooood!!!!!!!! lyl
LMAO, I’ve never laughed so hard! Super sexy and super funny at the same time! Amy and the cello stole the show, I now know how you really feel about her. But for real, keep this up! Danish need their own spin-off and this was great, post soon! And as a reward, I’ll play the cello and sing in french *just* for you.
LMAO Oh my god I loved this story! Danish, A Bunny, and Betty *sings* these are a few of my favorite things! I can so see Dana’s arm stuck in the mail box. But on top of the whole story being good, my favorite part was the ending when they brought Betty in! Pure genius I’m telling you. I love it how Amy can’t go anywhere with out her beloved cello. It’s like a law she must not be written with out it! Good Job!
The dykes duo. Bette is going to kill them. They are so cute and so samn funny. thanks
Hahaha, your story absolutely cracked meup LOL. Please continue.*laughing laughing laughing*
How happy I was when I saw you posted again! This was so hilarious too. Ok if I we ask you again to continue with another chapter you’ll continue?? Please!! I love how you write Alice and Dana complaining but still behind her, she might be love that! Love Bubba and the jail scene. “She’s my bitch” Looove it! and so much fun!We want more!!!
OMG That’s hilarious! It is Al at her best. Her brain working 100 miles an hour. That’s really to fast for Dana. You’re really good at it, please post again soon.
I think you just created a new of kind writing: FC-All ages (Fun content) – I lost myself in the story. For starters, I can’t stop my mind wondering about some prison cell action ( without audience of course ). – More importantly I started to think that there actually is a tape but it’s jinxed. Umm well… I sacrifice myself here Fox, send it to me: I guard it for my life!!! Gotta make two more copies though, or ten. In case the original wears out. :P
OMG! Even better than part 1! I laughedout loud,loud,loud! So many funny parts& some Danish sex!!!! There has to be apart3!!!!!! I loved it!!!
Once again I loved the story! Repost soon.
this is just so funny I love it and I am still laughing hard please post soon