“Oh God.  Sorry, Kit,” Lara said, blushing slightly. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kit replied, smiling.  “Maybe I’ll advertise a lunch special for cucumber sandwiches.”

Lara returned Kit’s smile absentmindedly, then gathered the vegetables into a large bowl and placed them in the fridge. 

“You ok?” Kit asked, looking at Lara carefully.  “You seem a little preoccupied.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Kit,” Lara replied, trying to sound casual.  “Just a little tired.”  That was certainly true.  She had spent most of the night staring at her ceiling and thinking about the blonde that slept just a few feet away in her living room.  Lara had wanted nothing more than to walk into the living room and pull Alice off the couch and into her bedroom, but her better judgment overcame her desire.  Instead, she had tried to work out her feelings about what had happened between her and Alice that night, but she hadn’t reached any conclusions about how they should move forward.  She knew they needed to talk, but she was afraid of what would result from their conversation. 

The fact was, no matter how passionate their embrace had been earlier that night, after seeing the look on Alice’s face when Gabby made her snide comment about Dana, Lara realised that Alice was still bogged down in her guilt, a feeling that Lara also shared.  Lying in bed that night, Lara had come to the conclusion that their guilt wasn’t only due to their relationship; it was about Dana’s death itself.  Both Lara and Alice were convinced that they had abandoned Dana, just in very different ways.  Lara still beat herself up over having left for Paris when Dana needed her most, and Alice couldn’t rid herself of the guilt over having left Dana’s bedside just before she died.  They were both carrying their guilt about Dana into their relationship with each other; that was why they hadn’t told anyone else about what was happening between them, and it was also why they had never really discussed their feelings with each other. 

But what scared Lara the most right now was that the more she got to know Alice, the more her guilt was slowly being overwhelmed by other, stronger feelings.  Before Dana’s death, Lara had always thought of Alice as a great person – entertaining, friendly, with a big heart – but she had never seen Alice as anything other than a friend of Dana’s.  But now, suddenly, her feelings toward the blonde had completely changed.  It wasn’t just physical attraction that drew Lara to Alice now; Alice’s humour, her light, and her warmth had wound their way around Lara’s heart without her even being aware of it.