Who am I to keep you away from it?

So..

Do you see where I’m going with all of this?

Can you finally see why I tried to do what I did inside that restaurant?

Believe it or not, I was only thinking about you when I said that we should consider breaking up. Crazy as it sounds, I only had your best intentions at heart.

Although looking back now, I admit that it was one of my baddest decisions ever. You know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. HELL. I’ve been wallowing in there since you left me at the theme park a few hours ago. And I don’t think I can get out of there until you hear me out.

Porter.. you left me. And I’m still a little sore about that. How can you just walk away? And then you didn’t answer my calls.. or answer a single one of my pathetic messages. I never had to grovel that much in my entire life. When things were really bad between us during the red tag days, I gave you the chance to explain. You didn’t deserve it, but I gave it to you nonetheless. So why not give the same courtesy back to me? You are so fucking unfair Porter.

But I forgive you. I forgive you for walking away. I forgive you for kicking Jenny’s girlfriend in the balls (nice job, btw). I forgive you for ignoring me. I forgive you for questioning my feelings. I forgive you, well, for being you.. the bitch.. the snob.. the asshole.. the stubborn bullheaded girl that I fell in love with.

For what it’s worth, I really am very sorry for hurting you today. We caused each other pain, but the bigger fault was mine. A moment of weakness. That’s what it was. A moment of weakness on my part. I got scared.. and I succumbed to my fears. I’m sorry that I was weak, sorry that I was such a coward. I think you understand me well enough to know that when I get scared, I say some things that I don’t really mean.. I say some things that I don’t necessarily feel.

Babe, I don’t want to break up. I’m sorry I ever brought it up. We have such a beautiful thing going on between us. And we are so lucky to have found each other at such a young age. Others wait a lifetime for this, some never experience it, but we did.. and for that I will be forever grateful to the powers that be. So please, don’t ever question my love for you again, and please, believe me when I say:

that..

Infuriating as you are, I love you.

Unbearable as you can be at times, I can’t live without you.

Thickheaded and stubborn as you like to be, there is no other girl for me.

Cause you.. Elizabeth Jean Porter.. you will forever be the one. The ONLY one that I want to slap and kiss at the same time. The person that I love to hate and hate to love. The one I want to kill but can’t live without. You are my very own walking, talking and breathing contradiction. And I love you so much.

We are two people belonging to completely opposite sides of the spectrum. You are an extraordinary girl destined for greatness, I am but an ordinary girl destined for obscureness. Don’t you think it’s funny? That in some weird play of fate, we were brought together? I think you agree with me when I say that we have something worth fighting for. I’m sorry if it took a little longer for me to come around and meet you half-way in this battle. But I’m here now, and I won’t go anywhere. I promise.

Give me the chance to do all the making up stuff that I’ve promised you.

I remain yours.

Kennard.

PS. I just wrote the sappiest love letter in the world. So can you suck up your pride and talk to me now? Please?

tbc..