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    Bag Your Own, 2

    Story written on November 23, 2005 by Katey471.
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    33 votes, average: 3.67 out of 533 votes, average: 3.67 out of 533 votes, average: 3.67 out of 533 votes, average: 3.67 out of 533 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5 (33 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
    Rating:
    fanfiction(s):
    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 18
    Words: 3852
    Story Shortlink: https://assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=57821
    Author Notes:

    Thanksgiving, Weho style.

     

    Alice: “Well then someone better introduce those knuckles to a razor, Bette.  Cuz from this angle, it looks like it’s been a while.”

     

    Alice broke free from Bette’s hold and ran off toward the bathrooms.  Bette nonchalantly looked down at her knuckles before smiling over at Tina, and taking off after her.

     

     

    A&P – The Frozen Section

     

    Jenny was twirling her gum around her index finger as Shane studied what was left in the turkey bin.  “It doesn’t look like much.  I mean, do these even look healthy to you?”

     

    Jenny: “Don’t look at me.  I hate turkey.”

     

    Shane: “Really?  I didn’t know that.”

     

    Jenny: “Yeah, I didn’t want to discourage Alice, but I literally skeeve it.  It’s a bird”

     

    Shane laughed.  “I know, gross huh?”

     

    Shane pushed one of the bottom feeders to the side before saying, “I don’t know.  Maybe we should call her.  Ya know, give her the opportunity to save face.  This, this isn’t going to work.”

     

    Jenny shrugged as she pulled the cell phone from her pocket.

     

     

    Alice rummaged through her bag and quickly covered the speaker of her cell phone so’s to muffle the ring.  She whispered, “Please tell me you did what I asked you to,” as she slapped it to her ear.

     

    “What???  Sick???  Shane, I don’t give a ***** if you have to kill a pigeonjust dress the ***** up and get your *****.you are to.hello???”

     

    Just then, there was a knock at the door.  “IN A MINUTE, BETTE!  Jesus Christ, can’t I even pee in peace?”

     

     

    Shane looked at Jenny and said, “*****.   The call dropped,” as Alice nervously scrolled through the numbers.

     

    Alice: “Come onI know you’re in here somewhere.”

     

     

    Bette was leaning against the wall in the hallway as the door flew open.  Alice stepped out wearing full body cam’s with multiple fall colored leaves sticking out all over the place.  She even fashioned herself a headband out of the foliage she had swiped off the ground on her way into the lodge.  Bette looked her up and down before saying, “What the ***** are you doing?  You look like an idiot caught in a wind storm.”

     

    Alice threw on her back pack and as she walked past Bette on her way to the gun rack to choose her weapon, she said, “Don’t take your lack of terrain knowledge out on me, Bette.  If you’re going to hunt the animal, you have to think like the animal.  These might look like ordinary leaves from the ground out there, but I’ve strategically placed them about my body to cause a chameleon effect with the land.  That turkey’s not going to know what hit him.”

     

    Bette: “How do you know it’s going to be a him?  You could very well kill a girl turkey.  Feel good about yourself knowing that?”

     

    Alice picked up one of the rifles and as she studied the scope, she said, “Don’t try and deter me from the task at hand, Bette.  Hunters can’t afford to see gender.  And besides.how do you know that “girl” turkey wasn’t a complete ***** in life?”

     

    Bette: “Well put, Tonto.  Now stop stalling and let’s go see what you’re made of.”

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    Comments

    2. I laughed so hard I could barely finish your hilarious story. Welcome back and I can’t wait for more. We need you to post regularly regardless of what happens in season 3. You have your assignment.

    3. I’m with LowerBottom here, you have your assignment. You are officially commissioned to provide us with non-stop, gut busting humor ALL SEASON LONG. This thankgiving I’m thankful for this incredibly clever story and as long as you serve it up I’m going to indulge. Pass the gravy peeps!

    13. ROTFLMAO. This is the most hilarious story that I’ve ever read on this site. The dialogue is clever and spot on w/the characters. Great job!! Keep it coming, pls.

    18. Katey…keep it going.. we need more then 3 chapter from you… Tofu turkey…. now they should have set up up one them and have alice blast it… tofu all over the place… please continue…soon

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