“Ash…look, you and Madison, you’ll be fine.  I mean, ever since I met you guys have fought.  Not everyone can be that perfect couple, Ash.  Just because Kyla and Aiden are always happy and love sick and annoying about it doesn’t mean everyone else is like that.  You guys just need to talk…and I don’t think I should really sleep over at your house ever again just in case Mads decides to come into your room when we were sleep…that was one BAD week, ha.”  I try and sound sincere about their relationship even though I know we could be one of those perfect couples together. 

“No. I think it’s different this time. I mean I’ve been thinking about breaking up with her for over three months now, I just can’t find a good time to do it….she is either yelling at me or not talking to me or actually being nice so I just don’t know when to do it.  I mean, she has been one of my closest friends since like 6^th grade.  And she hates you…and let’s be serious, who could possibly hate you!??!  Everyone else I know loves you to death!  I don’t know how you say that you can never find a suitable girl to date because there are soo many girls drooling as you walk by, it’s incredible.  I haven’t seen reactions like that since….well, me.” Ashley adds with a smirk.

“Funny, but if you really do want to break up with her, you’ll have to wait until the end of school because Kyla told me she won’t get back till summer and I won’t allow you to break up with someone over the phone…even if she is a bitch, or should I say punta??” I say sarcastically.

Ash lightly slaps my arm pretending to take offense, “Hey…a bitch is a bitch, and she deserves a 22 second breakup on her voicemail.  I mean, we started having sex again, and that just ruined it I think.  Sex kills your relationship.  Don’t ever do it.” Ashley says looking at me seriously.

All I can do is burst out laughing, but I manage to get out between breaths, “ You. Can’t. Be. Serious.” She just stares at me before I catch my breath and continue, “Ashley Davies… you are the horniest, perverted, sexual driven human being on this planet.  Most thirteen year old boys don’t have the amount of raging hormones you have.  I’m almost positive you’ve masturbated twice today…and it’s about 4…oh shit that’s later than I thought we must have been walking really slow…but since I’ve been with you walking this whole time I’ll keep my guess at two…otherwise I would have changed it to about three and a half.” I say looking at her seriously…since the day I met her she’s been open with how much she loves women and how often she “Brookes” herself…I mean I do too, just not to that extent.