*************************************

I was getting so tired of not being able to be there for Ashley like I knew she needed me to be…if that makes sense. I know she needs me, but I can’t stand being pushed away, or maybe she wants to push me away…

“so…what are you going to do?” Kyla asked me

“I don’t know…I honestly don’t know Ky…” I told her

“have you told Ashley?” she asked

“how can I? she’s so self absorbed I don’t know how to talk to her anymore…” I said

“look our dad dying affect me just as much as it did her…but she’s not even trying to get over it…not that we’ll ever fully get over it, but suffering doesn’t last forever…it’s not supposed to…”

“but she wont let me in Kyla…maybe I should just leave…live the life I wanted after high school…”

“so…you’re following your head this time?”

“I think I made the mistake of following my heart the first time…”

“you regret everything?” she asked me

“no…I love her Kyla, but I can’t do this anymore…before I wanted it to be about her, but I can’t take this anymore…I love her too much to hurt her by being here”

“so…she wakes up and you’re gone?” she asked me

“is there any other way?” I asked her

“um…tell her?” she recommended

“I can’t…I can’t hear her beg for me to stay…”I said then Kyla and I said our goodbyes and I was gone the next day by night time. I didn’t answer Ashley’s calls or listen to her voicemails, it was like she was never a part of my life.

***************************************

“Ashley!” Brooke yelled from the kitchen

“huh? What?” I asked coming downstairs

“did you read the Rolling Stone? This article Spencer wrote is amazing…”

“this came out yesterday…how’d she get it in so fast?” I asked spinning the magazine around so I could read it myself

“guess she’s a prime writer…” she said taking a sip of her coffee then I smiled to myself as I read the article “…so did you print our plane tickets?”

“huh what?” I asked zoned out

“the cruise…” she said looking at me

“oh yeah…no I got it, and I’m almost all packed…” I said walking around to her wrapping my arms around her waist “…thank you” I told her