Do you really think she will be okay with that plan?

Well I hope so, I want that alcohol. I need a good stiff drink.

Are you aware that you are a budding alcoholic?

Oh, Voice, I passed ‘budding’ a long time ago. I am a pure out alcoholic. It’s no secret. I don’t intend to treat it as one. It has been almost two full months since I’ve had a drink stronger than a beer. The only beer I’ve gotten away with drinking was being closely watched by my parents. They kept count on how many I had. I was lucky to get even a slight buzz from them.

Lucky for me, I learned ways to get a higher buzz from just one beer – drink it through a straw, follow it with something high in sugar, and avoid eating all day, anything to get that feeling back into your body. It’s that light feeling that you love so much. You feel weightless – it takes you to outer space. It is that vibrating feeling throughout your bones. It is the feeling that anything is possible. You can’t help but crave after it.

Have you ever considered Alcoholics Anonymous?

I’ve been there – done that. It is just a bunch of bullshit to me. Besides, I do keep it in check. I’ve been fine for two months without a very strong drunk feeling. But things right now are stressful. I need that feeling again. Maybe things will have a better outlook.

So how are you going to get Ashley to agree to it? Do you really think she will be okay with who you are going through to get it?

It’s him she doesn’t trust, not me. There shouldn’t be any problem. That and the fact that she wants to drink as badly as I do. This is going to benefit our weekend together.

This is basically a trust exercise that I am putting her through. I can drink around anyone, anytime. But for her it’s different. If she is going to drink around someone, she has to trust them. She either trusts me enough to drink around me or she doesn’t. Either way is fine by me. But I want to build back what trust she used to have for me.