“Bye” I said finally, then closed my phone. I shut my eyes and let myself fall onto my back, my arms draped across my stomach. I felt another tear slide down my temple.

How did we get here? I was sure this would never happen to us. Money or no money, I thought we’d always be happy if we were together. When Ashley’s trust fund turned out to be next to nothing, I mean sure, I was upset and scared, but I knew that life would go on. I figured that we could both get jobs and live on a little less than we were used to. I could live with that, as long as I had her. Unfortunately, when we lost the trust fund, I lost her too. Everything became about the money, or lack thereof, and she was obsessed. She hadn’t lived a day in her life without financial security, and let me tell you, it didn’t reveal her best colors. We couldn’t afford our LA flat anymore, so I transferred to NYU and we moved to New York when Glen did, convinced that life would be cheaper there. Glen was now playing for the Knicks, and living the high life, while we just got by in our crappy apartment. It was okay though, we were surviving – I attended school while Ashley tried to make her music career happen. This had been going on for a year, and it was as if we were inert: we were moving our legs as fast as we could, running at a breakneck speed, but we were getting nowhere.

Last Christmas was spent in the company of unpacked boxes. We had just moved, and we tried to make the best of the holidays within these hollow walls. We didn’t have many things, but we had each other. Despite her discontentment, I still felt her with me, and that was all the consolation I needed. Now though, I couldn’t even say that. She felt so distant now; when she looked at me it was as if she was looking very far away, her focus hidden beneath an apologetic shroud. I wish she just knew that I didn’t care about all of this. I cared about her, and what hurt was seeing her like this.