“I know. But I forgive you. Is that okay?” Is that okay? My mouth still hung open and I groped desperately for words that wouldn’t come. I closed it and nodded. “Good. Now what’s for breakfast?”

The next few moments were a blur, but the crisp sound of my palm across her face was something I wouldn’t soon forget.

It looks like it’s going to be a blue christmas for Spencer and Ashley, full of sacrifice and sadness. if they’d only look to one another, they might find just what they’re looking for.

You know that feeling when you hear about something, and then you start to see or hear about it everywhere? Now imagine that every time you saw whatever it is you’re your stomach does somersaults, your heart twists and swells, and you feel like you’re floating among the stars. That’s kind of what it was like having Ashley back in my life.

I could feel Avery looking at me, asking for some explanation, but at present, I had nothing to say. I could only stand and wait for something. It could be as little as a sigh, or as big as an explosion. The tension built by the moment, and soon it felt as if gravity had doubled.

Feeling embrace tighten, she exhaled, “God, Spence, I love you so much.” My heart fluttered, and then stopped. I already knew the truth in what she said, but hearing it was entirely different. It caused me to flinch internally with both pain, and euphoria. She loved me. She said it with such fervor, too. It took all that I had in me not to say it back – all that I had in me not to just lift her head and put my mouth on hers, wish away everything between that night and today. With every fiber of my being, I restrained myself, knowing that there would be consequences should I let it happen.

Despite everything, my heart’s survival instincts telling me to freeze in my tracks, I went on. With each step I felt the increasing inability to turn back. I was too invested… too wrapped up in her. As her grip on my heart tightened like a noose around my neck, I couldn’t help but feel… elated.

“Kyla I am begging you.” I pleaded, with a new intensity to my voice. It was growing stronger. “I need this information to decide my next step.” I said finally, hoping it would persuade her. She was quiet for another many seconds. I took this as a good sign. At least she was thinking.

Avery’s been in the dark long enough. Spencer is going to shed some light. Well, at least a little. In doing so, she’ll find out that Avery wasn’t the only one in the dark.

“I’m sorry Spencer, I didn’t mean to imply that you hadn’t gone through hell.” He said finally. “I just wish you knew what she became without you. Spencer…” He looked as if debating whether to proceed, or run. “she crumbled.” Silence.

Well… Spencer has a lot to think about. We’ll just leave it at that.

An unfathomable guilt is ripping Spencer apart… but why?

When Spencer’s escape becomes seemingly impossible, she gives into the tears she’s been waiting to cry.

Spencer can’t quite figure out what she wants. Avery should be her perfect girl… Having her mother approve her girlfriend should be the greatest thing in the world…but old memories surface and toy with her certainty, and Spencer is thrown into some emotional middle ground that she can’t seem to escape.

The prom night from hell happened. Ashley went to Europe and never called. Its December of the following year, and Spencer has moved on…or has she?