The Reluctant

            It was the kind of rain that made you want to run outside and spin around in circles, regardless of how you looked. It was the kind of rain that dribbled down inside of a warm breeze, gently enveloping you as you stood in the wetness. The birds were singing, grateful for the moisture to feed their children, who sat in their nests high up in the oaks and redwoods, waiting for that first drop of water to fill their mouths. Even the trees swayed happily, soaking up the drops that fell from the clouds and onto the sun kissed soil. The sky was dim, but not dark, and even though clouds filled the sky, there was a presence of peaceful nature instead of the harsh gloom of a summer rain.

            The soft wind tenderly guided the stray green and brown leaves across the pathway, parting with the fresh cut grass they left behind and giving them more room to dance and wave about. Small squirrels scurried up, up, up, into the trees that provided safety and shelter from the damp evening air. Even the deer were out, the mothers walking with their fawns across the path, the little ones that didn’t even have spots to grace their silky pelts, who pranced along, enjoying the sensations of their first felt rain.

            That’s what nature saw. The beautiful, friendly, light, swirling rain coming down to grace the land with liveliness and nurturing care. But that’s not what I saw. I saw the bitter rain, chilling my body as it pounded down onto my skin. The angry drops, crushing down onto the sodden earth, forming puddles to show the reflections of those who didn’t necessarily want to see themselves. I heard the harsh, deafening thunder, threatening to swallow me whole and spit me back out. I saw the quick lightening, piercing the sky as if to warn me.

            Stay away from her, the sky whispered, flashing bright colors, daring me to come closer. And I wanted to. As the water soaked me to my skin I felt like crawling into the sky to melt away in it’s darkening abyss forever, freeing myself from the pain and torture I knew I would have to endure if I stayed here.