Anyway, this ties back into my confusion about the Dana situation. Sometimes it seems like Dana is happy to be around me, other times she seems distant and right now – she just seems angry. It is so weird. For two seconds after we kissed I thought that she and I could do this. That we could be together. I knew it the moment my lips touched hers, and I know she felt it too. I just know it. It felt like it was destiny for us. Sometimes I even think I catch a glimpse of it in her eyes when I catch her looking at me. She has to feel the same way, I mean why else would she be looking at me like that anyway? But then weeks went by and nothing happened. She continued making wedding plans with Tonya. I don’t know why – I don’t see any kind of spark between them, but Dana did nothing to break it off. Maybe I was misreading her. Maybe she didn’t feel that same electricity that I felt. Maybe I have been mistaken about the kisses, the looks, the desire I thought I saw in her eyes. Maybe that’s all it was – like Dana said,  just an attraction. I guess her heart is and has always been with Tonya. And me, I was just a small distraction before she got married. Maybe she just wanted to see if her and Tonya were meant to be? But I was so sure I felt…. Well anyway, I am glad I figured it out before things went too far with me and Dana.

I need to move past this. I need to get back to where we were. Where Dana was merely my best friend and not a person I wanted ravage every time she walked in the room. That is why I need to make the best of this date. If I am to move on, why not with Chris? He is fun to hang out with and I am attracted to him. Why not push Dana behind me and try to start something new with Chris. Dana will be married very soon and this thing between us will just be a thing of the past. Then we can go back to being best friends. But then why is she giving me that horrible look? Isn’t this what she wants?