The room dark, with dancing lights that cover the nameless faces. They jump, sway; twirl in the heat of the crowd…their bodies glistening in the dark reds and blues. The music floating in the air and I can feel their energy, I can feel their desires, their dreams. The sad part about it is that this is probably the only thing I’ve felt other than pain, confusion and hate for a long.

Changing the song, watching the monitor and I think I can see her in the crowd. It torments me every time…my heart begins to race and it’s all I can hear. My blood coursing through my veins and I want to run to her, to slap her, scream at her, kiss her. I want her and I don’t… why does it have to be so complicated? Why does it have to be so fucking hard?

I remember watching old romance movies with my mom growing up, where they meet fall in love and fight. Then they have that big romantic moment in the end where they fall back in love. They’re such liars… you fight and all you feel is anger, pain and confusion. You make up and you still feel it… no matter how hard you try to forget it you can’t. When you break up…even with the one person you’ve ever really loved, you don’t always get back together. Love and life isn’t that easy… what I would give if it were.

Looking at the dark haired girl and I know it’s not her, she doesn’t walk like that. I think of her walking, it was more of a strut really. Like she owned the place, like she didn’t give a fuck about anything. That’s the whole problem…she didn’t give a fuck.

This place is where I belong…here in the dj booth by myself. I can feel something other than confusion here; I can think of something other then her for a few moments. That is until some tall dark haired girl walks in… and all I can feel is that hope deep inside of me. To feel that warmth wash over me as I think of how she would smile at me from the dance floor. How she would just stand and watch me, sending drinks over if she didn’t bring them herself. How she would blow a kiss every once in awhile, ignoring the swarm of girls around her.