Fan Fiction
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The Newly Discovered SoCal Humminger Bette Porterius ~ Chapter 18
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The dinner itself was always the most intense period of work for Bette in an evening that was always intensely about business.
As always, the wait staff had been instructed to not refill Bette’s wineglass until it had been empty for five minutes. Under no circumstances was her glass to be topped off. Michel had explained to each that it was the most important direction of the night and, at an earlier dinner, Michel had dismissed an offender on the spot.
“I’m disappointed that I have missed part of the wonderful conversation you have been having,” Bette said as she slipped into her seat and smiled at her neighbors.
“Your presence will make it even more wonderful,” Dimitri oozed back, enjoying the smirk his saccharine tone and words elicited from Bette.
“Bette was busy making yet another convert,” Arabella announced.
Patterson indignantly retorted, “Catherine’s work doesn’t require conversions.”
Dimitri glanced at his table mates and then focused on Patterson, “I believe Arabella was referring to a more personal type of conversion, a Saul on the road to Damascus experience, but of a more earthly type,” Dimitri smiled at Bette, “though I am certain that the missionary would find the conversion easy to achieve.”
“I assure you, no missionary of any type was promised,” Bette gamely replied, though she was annoyed at the conversation’s innuendo, something with which she normally would have enjoyed bantering.
“Bette, you are the only woman for whom I would ever consider going straight,” Dimitri’s very handsome and young boyfriend announced.
“You hurt me, but I will forgive you because it is difficult to resist the allure of Bette Porter.”
Bette looked at her table neighbors, smiling, “In typical social gatherings, guests exchange pleasantries about the weather or sporting events before it is acceptable to begin serious conversation. Teasing me has been the exchange of pleasantries?”
“No. Typically, the guests would compliment the hostess about the décor or the food or the wine. Here, though, these are so obviously excellent that we instead have been complimenting our host’s extraordinary beauty and charm.”
“Because those are not obviously excellent?” Bette taunted.
Dimitri laughed, “No they are, but they bear repeating again and again.”
“Who was the blonde who monopolized your attention?” Arabella asked, an almost imperceptible nasty edge to her question.
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I love all the detail your using, and filling in the missing gaps for us! I knew Tina would have left it. Dude if Bette was touching me like that… I would have jumped her right there. I can’t wait to see what happens next. PLEASE POST SOON!
Did I mention I love this story? I love love love this story… And it has been the most intelligent, articulate and grin-inducing experience by far, today… (though it was a fine enough day). Thank you! :-)))
Joining in the chorus of thank you and wonderful details. The banter, Arabella, Alice, Tilly, just super to be entertained so thoroughly and intelligently.
Just perfect, as always.
i’m gonna try that diet…is it actually real thing? i should google it LOL loved this update…it was hilarious and cute…perfect…eric is getting on my nerves
All the intrigue has me entranced. Bette and Tina should conspire together to off Eric, ala “Les Diaboliques”. Eric is a tool, and a not very sharp one at that. Thanks!
Damn Eric! At least Tina left her earring. This was a funny chapter. Can’t wait for more. PPS!!
Excellent update. Love it. Thank you. And now when are we going to get rid of Eric. He’s so annoying. :) Thank you again!
Gotta love that allergy season with all that humming going on.
Spumoni, I love the way you relayed their thoughts as they were glancing at each other and your flirty banter was brilliant. I have often wondered what attracted Bette to Alice and the only one I too could come up with was the humour and fun in Alice. Keep ’em coming Spumoni…this was superb!
Way to go Tina, and Eric needs to remember that Tina can talk for herself.
Love the frequent posts from you. Hopefully Anabella has got a good set of teeth…..Eric is a brat, Tina needs to delete him from her life. Bette is smitten. Great story and Thank you!
Great update,Ilove this story.Thank you
ahhh… the mystery had been solved. Tina did leave the earring… I’m humming my way back to catch up on this story from the beginning. Great stuff!
You left me teary…with that Anabella person. Mammals and floor tiles covered in sauce…lol Actually this post was like finding the missing part of the story that we never got to see. Perfectly narrated too. Thank you!
It’s OK if you read comments more than once, it’s only fair cause we read your stories more than once. I reread your first, ‘Halloween’ story just last night. I’m going to save the Thanksgiving story you gave us last year next month. Now let me go read this chapter for the first time.
I agree with Sammer, Eric is getting on my nerves. Well, well, well, Tina did leave her earring behind. Both B&T hurt by Eric’s manly thinking. I hope Bette finds out the truth about Tina’s early departure. I was sad when Alice finally realized that there wasn’t going to be a chance with Bette. Great update.
Eric is reeeealllly getting on my nerves. I love the way you’re writing this with all the details, the flirty dialogue and the thoughts behind the actions. Please post again soon. I wonder if Bette will hum when she finds the earring…
So Eric couldn’t phone a bloody taxi? If he wanted to leave so badly, he should’ve… left. No matter, Tina’s left a blatant excuse to come back to the gallery. Regardless of what Eric has said, there’s no way Bette can misread that signal. I think Eric’s going to be history sooner rather than later. I loved Bette’s internal reasoning as to why she chose Alice, and why she’s having the reaction to Tina that she is. And I love, as always, the banter, the dialogue, the insights into Ms Porter and Ms Kennard. Great post, Spumoni. Thank you :)
Now, is serving Anna, er uh, Arabella a plate full of gristle anyway to woo an artiste? Such a poseuse probably would be a good match for Eric. So, the secret lesbian handshake evidently does not include finger pulling. What a relief. Or not. May we hear the conversations Tina has with Bron and Bette has with Susannah in our next installment as the ladies try to figure it out?
Ok…I reread it again…Love the whole Brit speak. Forsooth! Knight in shining Armani! Smite! Feats of valor! Oh, so, so clever TLW-Bard!!!
Imagine this Spumoni…one back flip, two back flip with a twist, three back flip with a twist and a happy dance!!! Wow…great chappy…love the sexual tension…mystery solved…it is the oldest trick in the book that Tina did!!! I really, really, really loved this chapter…besides all the fun and flirting…my favorite part was Bette figuring out that Tina was going to be her “safe place in life.” Wow…that was deep and full of truth. Thanks for writing. You’re so awesome!
Fantastic chapter! I loved the flirting. Eric’s an asshole. Nice move Tina :) Thanks for the long update. PPS
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh so that’s the message T left for Bette. A perfect chapter. More soon plz
wonderfully narrated….I loved the banter between Bette and Tina….AH so she left the earring….so glad….and Eric…hmm he is annoying and tacky so very much unlike Bette
wonderfully narrated….I loved the banter between Bette and Tina….AH so she left the earring….so glad….and Eric…hmm he is annoying and tacky so very much unlike Bette
My gawd this was brilliant!!!~and with an execution to match! Thanks!
You can’t imagine the smile on my face when I saw this installment on the main page. It was huge, and yet it required serious wrestling with myself because I have a project that needs to get done today and will probably mean I can’t move from the computer till very, very late tonight. But whatever, I’d rather stay up later than wait to read this. So, actual comment now. I, too, read all my comments more than once. It’s just so much fun! And have I told you just how much I adore this story? It’s the details, the artists never contributing anything to the parties, the mammal-restricted sexual omnivore (Hah! Arabella and a dolphin lol), the David Bowie vs. Elton John shiny suits. You just manage to paint the picture of the night so incredibly well that I can see it. And yes, I agree with funnyone, Bronwyn and Susannah for the win! Oh, and one more thing. I would have kicked Eric’s ass for blaming the leaving on me. It’s one thing to use the “Bette has a headache” excuse when Bette was the one who wanted to leave, but to use the “Tina has to get back to work” when you’re the one who has to? Why can’t you accept that you’re the one to blame, jerk!?
spumoni, you are my all time favorite author! i simply like all your stories and the pacing of this one is simply amazing, i hope you post soon.