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    The Incredible True Adventure of Helena and the Personality-Altering Device

    Story written on May 25, 2006 by Nocturnal.
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    59 votes, average: 3.39 out of 559 votes, average: 3.39 out of 559 votes, average: 3.39 out of 559 votes, average: 3.39 out of 559 votes, average: 3.39 out of 5 (59 votes, average: 3.39 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): ,
    Number of Comments: 19
    Words: 2680
    Story Shortlink: https://assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=61042
    Author Notes:

    Fantasy Challenge #4 – Don’t worry, TiBetters, it’s safe :D:D.

    "Wait, don’t tell me you’re on the good side?" Helena asked incredulously.

    "Don’t sound so surprised! I’m The Child’s Earth mother, you know." Alice responded indignantly.

    "What?" Helena exclaimed. She couldn’t believe it. Alice was The Child’s earthly guardian?

    "Don’t tell me dorky Dana is involved, too?"

    That earned her another bitch slap.

    "That’s none of your business, Hell hound!"

    "Will you stop hitting me? I bruise easily!"

    "Oh please, you should be grateful that’s all I’m doing. If it weren’t for those pussy, robe wearing f…"

    Just as Alice was about to complete her sentence one of the beams of the abandoned warehouse fell down and Alice barely had time to jump to safety.

    "Holy cow, I was just constructively criticizing! No need to get your panties in a twist up there!" Alice yelled to the ceiling. She turned back to a smirking Helena.

    "As I was saying, the only reason you’re still unharmed is because the highly respected gentlemen and women from up above told me not to interfere in your little fling with Tina because it would serve its purpose to get the mommies back together."

    Helena‘s face clouded.

    "But now you’re no longer playing fair, are you Agent Peabody?"

    "We’re the dark side; we’re not supposed to play fair, Pieszecki." Helena grumbled.

    "You’ve got a point there. Well, either way, it’s not going to work. You didn’t think that just because we believe in true love, we wouldn’t be looking after the mommies and The Child? Now, what are we going to do with you, Agent Peabody?"

    Helena remained silent. She was beginning to get a little scared.

    Earth mother Alice suddenly smiled widely.

    "You know what? I know just the thing for you. I’m not just going to send you back where you came from, Hellno, I’m going to make you assist me on the good side. You and me are gonna be buddies."

    Alice smile grew even wider when Helena gasped and said: "You wouldn’t dare!"

    "Oh, wouldn’t I? I’m going to make you a sweet and loving person."

    Helena‘s eyes widened.

    "I’m going to make you the yoga-practicing psychic-visiting kind of person."

    Helena gasped again.

    "I might even give you a little taste of love."

    Helena fainted. Alice chuckled and got the personality-altering device called Ilene Chaiken. Whenever someone needed to do something ridiculously out of character or be given a completely different personality altogether, they would call upon their trusted device.

    "Work your magic for me, Ilene." Alice requested.

    "It’s already been done." Ilene said impassively.

    "Already? Damn woman, you’re good!" Alice said admiringly and put the device back into her backpack.

    "Now, let’s hope everything goes smoothly from now on," Earth mother Alice said to herself, but she knew the dark forces wouldn’t give up easily. There were many more obstacles to overcome.

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Beneath the earth, in the fires of a not so pleasant place a black-masked man summoned his loyal servant.

    "She has failed. You must go right away to prepare. Remain in the dark until the time is right. I have planted the seed of straightness in her mind. Oh and Henry… don’t forget your water wings…"

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    Comments

    7. Absolutely genius! Helena in a catsuit is a great image! Dark forces almost defeated by RomComs – fantastic! Loved the dig at monkey man in the white house, Alice bitchslapping Hellno, overreacting to constructive criticism and finally Ilene Chaiken being used for ridiculously out of character changes. Just marvellous. Brought a huge grin to my face – and boy did I need it! Thanks for your wondeful take on this challenge. Don’t forget about your other writing though!

    11. LMAOOOOOOOOOO…this was too damned funny for words. My mind could not have conjured up anything like this. You have the stage, take your Oscar ………. you deserve it

    17. I was not going to read this because it was about Helena but I used my heart and read it. Plus I like you other story too much to skip your writings. Those damn dark people. They have gone and f***ed with our Tina. But with you abilities to turn Helena to the good side please go out and plant that huge seed of love back into Tina’s heart. You know the one, the one with Bette’s name painted all over it. Have that seed grow very quickly (like with Helena) so that we could have our couple back. But I fear that the dark side is working against Bette with MM showing up and planting her seed into Bette’s heart. Who will win out MM or Tina? Please let it be Tina and the love child!!!!

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