After that conversation with Jenny I once more had become conscious that it was time, to take my life again into my hands. And admitted, this was an opportunity, which I would miss all too much, but whether the vehement speech of Alice, unfortunately or also thank God, not allowed to miss.

Oh God, how empty is the wardrobe of a woman, who didn’t went out for years and also otherwise completely missed what’s actually trendy at present. Well yes, the wardrobe of a woman is always too empty. Well, perhaps a Jeans, a top and a loose blouse over it would do, or rather an airy summer dress? Well… no, Jeans are good and comfortable and first of all not so remarkable. I rushed to the door, because my taxi was there already. I snatched my bag, my key, a short look into the mirror: ‘Jesus, I should have dressed into the black costume.’ The driver outside honked for the third time and that meant for me „So what, just go, otherwise he is away and you get a lot of trouble with Alice.” So I jumped into the taxi and let me drop at the Planet.

Wow, I haven’t seen it that crowded for a long time, actually I haven’t seen the place itself for quite a while and not at all with so many people.

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And there they all stood around a small bar table: Alice, Dana, Shane, Jenny, Carmen and of course Kit. All had a smile on their lips, how lovely of them, because they wanted to welcome me affectionately, but their looks said: ‚Well, it was time!’ As I saw Jenny’s eyes, I could have started to cry immediately, but I was strong and calm, so, as I had promised it to you, so that I can hold you, if you came back. Kit got me some drink and before I could have a look around, Alice had already pulled me on the dance floor and signalized me with large, inviting gestures, waving her arms around and a look, like only Alice can have, that I should move according to the rhythm of the music and don’t dare to leave the dance floor without this dance. What could have been more convincing? While I danced with her, my look struck on a, or better said, in the eyes of a woman standing at the bar. She smiled at me and whispered: „You need my help?” Best I would have cried ‚Yes!’, but I just shook my head. From that moment on I couldn’t help any longer to look at her. She was about 1,70-1,75 tall, at the beginning of her 40s, had long brown hair and large, beautiful brown eyes. She wore a white blouse, which brightly radiated in the light of the spots; over it easily thrown a Blazer, in addition narrowly cut trousers and black shoes. Gently she stroke through her hair with her hand and thereby smiled at me. She had such a smile that could fill out the whole area, which gave you the feeling that only you were there for her, that let everything disappear around you, all the noises, the music, the lights except for this one illuminating her smile.

Back with the others at the bar table I still saw her smile in front of to my eyes. Unfortunately the dancing crowd had pushed itself into my view, so that I lost sight of her. I made myself as tall as I could, looked for this light, tried to channel my look through the crowd. Shane asked: „What’s actually the matter with you, it’s been two years ago and we’re really concerned about you?” Jumpily I turned to Shane. „What?” I probably must have looked so frightened and at the same time disturbed that Shane immediately excused and hastily changed the topic. She got a tender kiss on the cheek from Carmen, so that it was clear for me that I didn’t need to answer no more to this question. Afterwards I really attempted to follow the discussion and also bring me in, however, that failed pitifully, because I had not really got, what it’s actually about. So I decided to dare the step and go to the bar. My view curved along the bar, up and down, looking for this smile. But she was gone. And so I used the favor of the hour, in order to disappear home.

Her smile didn’t get out of my mind. And also, if you get angry now, Bette, it had bewitched me. I mean, how long am I to be sad here? How long am I to wait for you? Don’t I also have the right to a little human closeness and warmth? I yearn so much for it that everything cramps in me. I would like to fall into these arms, look at her and know that there is a morning, want to be able to feel again, before the last nerve in my heart dies. It is so long ago that someone found desirable. As she looked at me, I felt like a woman again.

‚And, yes, I need your help!’