And what the hell does he know anyway?

“That thing I told you about the princess?”

“Yes.” She says kissing my collarbone. I had a broken collar bone once. You will be surprised by how hard every day things are with a broken collar bone.

“So The Sweet……she reported my behavior to my superior officers. And I was bought in for conditioning.”

“Conditioning?” She asks kissing my neck. Her hair falls on my face. So soft. I just want bunches and bunches of it in my hands while we………

“Shane?”

“Sorry…..um yeah conditioning. Its when they test your blood. And mine said I was not getting enough of the regimen. They suspected that I was on assignment so much that I was not able to keep a steady rotation of the regimen.”

“Was that it?”

“No I don’t believe that it was. I think that from the minute it started a part of me knew it was wrong. A part of me knew that I was doing this because of how angry I was toward my life. I think that I was fighting it. It happens. Sometimes the words, the line, the blood, sometimes it stopped making sense to me. I think that the princess was my link back to reality. I think that……everything after that was……….”

“Boring?” Curious her gaze.

“Not boring….just………. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the marks; I didn’t care about the monthly dinners to catch up with all the others. I didn’t want The Agency and its bizarre form of sisterhood. All the Agents….like myself…all women. In a room, a boardroom talking about peoples lives like they were poker chips or chess pieces. God all I wanted was to erase that look of the princess…….that look she gave me like how could I do that to her…….it haunted me. I took time off then got the call for my services in Antarctica.”

“Wow……….all I worried about was who killed Tupac.”

“Who is Tupac?”

“Never mind.”

“The artic job was a setup. I was deemed a malfunction. And it was a suicide mission that if I passed, which I did thank you very much…..if I passed …….there would be no one to extract me. So I went about it. Not knowing it was a setup. I killed them all. The researchers, the assistants, the animals…..god those mutated animals……I torched the place watched it burn. It took a while. And you have to use really volatile incendiary charges…..but it burned. The night sky that did not pass……those stars so close…..I could almost touch them……right there at edge of the earth at the bottom really…… no one around for thousands of miles…..you don’t even feel alone. You are that insignificant. And in terms of that twilight zone fear about waking up and no one being there anymore and the fear that came with knowing that you are it. You are the last line of humanity left on the planet…….I didn’t feel it. I was that insignificant. It was freedom. I walked to the edge of ice bank; it was a mountain, blue, three jagged mountains of blue. And I hooked myself with a pickaxe and drove a 6 ft spike to keep from getting blown over and I just sat there…watching pieces of the ridge crumble and fall into the ocean. It was beautiful……perfect. I……..I cried……..I waited and I waited but my air support never came. I waited till the cold seeped its way into my climate suit………and I knew…..no one was coming.”

“Shane…….I don’t know what to say?’

“What can you say? It is what it was.”

“I am so sorry……” She says kissing my cheek.

“Why?”

“………….Because fucked up things happened to you, because you are a good person despite the things that you have done. Because I am sorry…….you life is a million miles away from mine. I never really got into trouble till I met Pavel. And even then, it was just average everyday trouble. I mean I did steal from him, and I am on the run…….but all of that seems so civilized compared to the things you have gone thru.”

I lean up, on my elbows, the feel of her, and the smell her. the fact that she is trying to calm my savage soul, she is wonderful. I take her face, hold it in my hands and I kiss her. Really kiss her. The kind of kiss that said what I couldn’t say. The kind of kiss that said what I couldn’t believe I was feeling. And I won’t say the words. Never say the words. Words are hollow sometimes and actions speak louder than words.

My actions running true when I kiss her breasts. My actions running true when I take her nipple with my teeth, her actions making me wild when she moans my name. and we claw at each other, getting possessive, she pushes me back, I pull her down, getting compulsive in the amount of time we spend kissing, getting explosive when her fingers get inside, feeling wholesome when its said and done……..

TBC

Featured Song: Down there with you by Leather Strip.