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    Moi Lolita #10

    As the conversation ended I was deeply saddened by the thought of Helena and Alyssa being alone together. The pain I felt burned strong like toxic particles caught in my throat and slowly reducing my breaths. She deserved to be happy; right. Well why did this feel so painfully wrong, every inch of my body saying it couldn’t be right.

    I knew I had to fight these feelings; warden them off. I couldn’t live without her, I just couldn’t appreciate the air that filled my lungs for one more day without her in my life. I had to deal with never knowing she would re-enter my life and still have this hold over my heart, much stronger than before. 

    I’ve been thinking non-stop about how it would feel to have her all to myself once more. But I know that is all it will be, me dreaming of what was suppose to have happened all those years ago. Instead I fucked up and I have to deal with the consequences; Helena with someone else.

    I look back at a photo of us, tracing the perfection in every contour of her beautiful face. That was a just memory, all I had to hold onto. I know in the back of my mind I won’t ever be able to forget a beauty as strong as hers, nor wisdom beyond her years. I would just simply yearn for her until the day I die. I can honestly say hand on heart I understand the true complexity of Romeo and Juliet’s love for one another. In reality I know mine and Helena’s situation is not the same in its entirety. But I feel dead to my very core without her.

    ———————————–

    After ending the phone call with Dylan I hurried myself to get ready. I knew Alyssa would be waiting patiently for me.

    It was hard to comprehend if Dylan had only good intentions towards me. Trust had never come easy for me at the best of times. But she was the only woman to ever break my heart, in more ways than I ever thought possible.

    I tried desperately to fight my fears when if came to this short haired brunette. But I did wonder if I was being fair to myself subjecting my heart to yet another heartache.

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    Comments

    1. Omg! I just read the last chapter thinking Helena was getting really pruny in that tub!! LolThank you, thank you for the update. I’ll reserve my comments for what I think about Alyssa!

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