Fiona had appeared and showed her the world, as she had showed me. She had given Moira a place to live. It wasn’t much. It was a tiny room above a bar where she had to work very long hours, but it was better than living on the street.

I had told her about Tina, how great and warm and kind-hearted she was. Moira was really curious about her since I spoke with such love about Tina. I knew my dad wouldn’t take her in the house, nor would he take me. I didn’t know where she had to go, I didn’t even know where I had to go, but I had faith again. Everything was going to be alright.

It was a very long ride back home, I had forgotten how long the bus trip had been. The bus trip with Fiona. It seemed a century ago. I had become a total different person since. On the bus, I still was a naïve girl who believed she would help Fiona out of her shit. I was so innocent, when you really think of it.

Innocence. A part of me that was gone forever. Innocence is something like virginity; once you lost it, you can’t ever have it back. Some people lose innocence and virginity at the same time. It made me think of Billy. Maybe I could go to him if Tina kicked my ass and told me she had been perfectly fine without me.

Suddenly, a horrible thought struck me. What if she had someone else? What if she was totally in love with a person who could really make her happy, who wouldn’t dream of hurting her like I did? I tried to shake it off me, but it lingered.
It was only reasonable to assume she wouldn’t wait for me forever. Of course she wouldn’t, after what I had done to her. I cursed myself. How was I going to cope with seeing my precious Tina kissing someone else, holding someone else? Just the thought, the image, was terrifying. I almost had to puke only thinking about someone else touching her, loving her, smelling her and tasting her.

“Something wrong?” Moira asked. She looked really worried and I smiled as far as I could manage with those thoughts.