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I miss you. I need you– January FF Challenge–Chapter 2
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Chapter 2
Once home Bette looked around with newly found open eyes. She recognized Tina’s influence everywhere. From the colors on the wall, the table in the dining room, the art pieces, everything in and about this house had some tie or memory of Tina. She walked into their bedroom. This bedroom remained sacred to her. Tina was the only person she slept with in that bed. With the entire affair with Candace, they never violated what Bette considered as the marital bed. The affair was wrong enough but somehow Bette felt that if she did not make love to Candace there somehow, someway she was respecting their relationship she shared with Tina.
She remembered with shame, the last time they were in that bed together. Tina had just discovered the affair. She knew immediately and Bette could not deny it. Tina knew everything about her. She knew all her little nuances. She knew how she would react in certain circumstances. The seemingly innocent contact between her and Candace witnessed by Tina spoke volumes to Tina.
Bette underestimated Tina’s reaction to finding out about the affair. Their wrestling match ending with Bette essentially trying to control her physically left her so ashamed. How could she hope to recover from what she had done? Could she even expect Tina to forgive her for the affair or for brutalizing her with fingers that normally was used to give Tina such pleasure? Her head and heart ached over everything that happened. How could she begin to ask for forgiven? But she loved Tina more that she could image loving anyone and despite her mistakes she knew she needed to try to convince Tina of this. She needed to convince her of how much she missed her, how much she needed her, how much she needed them to be a couple.
She turned the water on to the hottest she could sustain and stepped into the shower. She washed herself symbolically trying to cleanse herself of the feel of Candace’s body, tongue and hands on her body. Her tears flowed and mingled with the water that was turning her light brown skin red. She washed her clit and tried to recall the touch of Tina’s hands months ago instead of Candace’s tongue only an hour ago. Her shoulders shook with the sobs brought out by the physical and emotional pain she was bearing with her cleansing.
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squirl, that was really good…and heart wrenching, which made it really good…poor candace! i like the sensitivity with which you deal with all players involved. awwww, that sadness of seeing those things around your home that you used to share with someone. poignant:) looking forward to more of this one as well, which is what i said to jp at some ungodly hour when i awoke to find all of you smart people had posted. cheers:)
It takes two to make a happy marriage,also two to make a misable one. Both had a lot to do with the breakup. thanks
Another great and emotional chapter…I would say that although Tina was also a part of the failure of their marriage, Tina remains faithful to Bette and never seek temporary happines from someone else. I can reflect on Bette’s feeling of loss and longings for Tina., really painful… What pushes her back to Candace arms and stayed for several weeks after trying to prove Tina that she love her & is sooo sorry the night Tina found out the affair making her violate Tina sexually. Lastly, I really hated Candace but, this proved that IC’s writing really had a strong impact to us audience after watching the show. of the cheating left you for
Cont. It made the audience shocked bcoz most of us did not expect that Bette is capable of cheating on Tina. Thank you Squirl for writing a storyline for Candace of what occured when Bette broke up with her….at least i’ve an idea that the break-up was not that easy for Candace. That is what IC failed to show us during the show….thanks…
Hello Squirl, I think that this is such a powerful take on this story, Bette never intended to hurt anyone. She only wanted to be relieved of her own pain and unfortunately the person that she has been with for over 7 years, the person she is so passionately “IN LOVE” with wasn’t there for her, she was lost and through a lapse she found herself weak enough to seek solace in the arms of an other, whom she ended up hurting as well, and then she hurt her family by this very same act. For her she is carrying such a huge weight on her shoulders and she needs to be relieved of it, and to me that burden is the need to forgive herself, she made a mistake and until she realizes she needs to forgive herself she will continue to find ways to hurt the people she loves and alienate herself even more. This is so amazing. Sincerely, JC
Tins is just as fault as bette for their failing marriage. tina can’t all this on bette, but she should have had more restaint with candance, too many could have , should have , would haves that never happened, they both reacted instead of acted…what fantastic story the insisght is so powerful!!