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Hockey Night in Canada: Getting Ready to Ruuuumble
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Shane skated for the sidelines so that she could take another swig of her special sports drink. “Mmmmmm, Irish cream.” She murmured lovingly, sloshing some of the liqueur in with the espresso.
When the rest of the teams made their appearance, Bette and Tina’s teams made themselves scarce.
“Ow…ow…don’t touch me…” Jenny was knocked about by skating woman, and had to be helped off the ice by Shane.
Tasha and Dusty stayed behind for further practice. They stood side by side, watching their friends stumble out of the building, hockey equipment haphazardly slung over their shoulders, and they shook their heads slowly for a long time.
“This is going to be awful.” Tasha frowned.
Dinner was spent in a downtown Vancouver Ethiopian restaurant. Bette and Tina were no longer speaking and Helena was getting drunk on local Canadian beer.
“This is the…shittiest…’hic’…beer…” Her seventh Kokanee went down like a lead balloon.
“Ooook there Hells, easy.” Alice patted her friend on the back, worried suddenly for the health of her kidneys and liver.
They all had their own hotel rooms, but Alice spent an hour in Helena’s, sobering her up. They sat together on the bed and watched old episodes of Xena.
“LESBOS!” They yelled. Every time the words “I love you Xena” or “You’re my whole life” or “I’m here Gabrielle” were said, Alice and Helena broke into hysterical laughter.
“Ok, ok, three hours of this is too much.” Alice gasped for air, wiping tears from her face. “Hey..”
“yeh huh?” Helena drank her third pint of water. She needed to pee.
“Did you really sleep with Bette?” Alice had on her ‘I’m gonna tell everyone in the world’ tone of voice.
“So? You did to.” Helena wiggled in pain. “Once upon a time…”
“Wow.” Alice watched the departing back as Helena rushed to the loo. “And she just…let you?”
“What you mean ‘let me’? It was consensual Al.” Helena flopped back onto the bed and gave Alice a frustrated look.
Just then, a knock sounded at the door.
Helena walked over to see who it was. She glanced through the peephole. “oh. It’ you.”
In through the opened door walked Bette. She seemed pretty surprised to see Alice—and looked rather jealously at Helena.
“We were just watching some tele. Care to join us?” Helena glanced down at the glass of wine in Bette’s hand. “Where’s Tina?”
“Doghouse.” Bette muttered. “Apparently its off limits to sleep with her ex-girlfriend.”
“Fair enough.” Helena nodded.
In the end, the three friends switched from Xena to a Grey’s Anatomy marathon.
“We shoulda gone to med school…” Bette said with a yawn. She lay on the bed beside Alice, while Helena dozed on the other side.
“Imagine, the three of us as doctors.” Helena smiled.
“Tina as well?” Alice asked. She nodded to the screen, where Sandra Oh’s character was performing emergency surgery in a lesbian bar, on a woman who had a ticking time bomb somewhere in her spleen.
With only a bottle of tequila and a plastic butter knife, Sandra Oh saved the day.
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Amusing. Like the basketball game but hockey is much more violent. Good job
Why do you post stuff when I have to leave? I’ll read you later. Promise.
Speaking of which, I recently saw in a talk show with Jennifer, one I had not seen and I thought I had seen all of them, that her husband was teaching her how to play hockey..and she didn’t even know before that how to skate…Am I the only one who missed this? Anyway I cannot imagine our Jennifer, sweet, shy, cultured, enjoying this sport! The fic was like the basketball game, but hb, dear hb, have we lost you as a wonderful Belena writer forever?? We had so few, and those that dabble too long in the Dark Side may be trapped there! I hope things are better with your family. Hugz!
nope, i’m still a belena writer. i posted two ligeia chapters about a week ago, and i’m working on planet terror tonite. bette and helena smut shall soon appear:)
“Fuck you, just FUCK you and your little dog too!” Best. Line. Ever. I’m one of the five Canadians who does not share the national obsession with hockey, but I’d pay serious coin to see the L word ladies re-enact this story in my local arena. During one of her appearances on the Late Late Show, Jennifer did say she loved hockey and that her daughter was watching it on the tube at the grand old age of two months. Go figure.
I’m one of the five too rufus! Though this looks like this was a commnetary on a Flames / Oilers game! LOL Great one hb!
At least Jenny didn’t spit her gum at somebody. Remarkably restrained of her. She WOULD have a horrible dog that pees on people. I bet it bites and barked the whole way up from LA. I’ve only played field hockey-I wish we had those nice heavy gloves like the icy players-I might not have fractured my index finger between my stick and the other girl’s. And I bet our winger would have liked the big shin pads, which would have saved her shin from that quite large divot. For a senior she cried real loud. Ah, good times. Sounds like B & T are off again. But that Sandra Oh is really talented. As an actress and a surgeon. But how much damage could a spleen sized bomb do?
as funny says..yay funny is back, B and T are off again, I vote for OFF, and B and H ON. Now how big is a spleen anyway, and I imagine a bomb of any size could do something. I can just see Jenny lounging around on the edges of the rink, drinking coffee screaming ” I told you not to pass the puck to me” while Bette tears everyone’s heads off, “damn, we’re losing”, tina doesn’t seem to know what team she is playing on but I have a helpful suggestion for her and Helena is their secret weapon! Hey I liked playing field hockey when I was in HS..much more civilized than ice hockey! Though, it wasn’t in that interview that Jennifer was talking about learning it, but she said her husband plays it, and she is learning,and in the interview hb mentioned she said the baby loves it…how lovely, a nice, violent, blood dripping, teeth spitting game for the whole family to enjoy together!
Hockey? *Ice* hockey? Bette? Helena? Hockey? Angry (hot) Tina? Hockey? Crazy Jenny? Hockey? Dusty? Tasha? Hockey? HOCKEY??!?? ……. (excuse me, whilst my feeble brain goes on pleasure overload.) Btw, I liked your take on Sandra Oh’s turn as MacGyver. One day, I, too, hope to save the world with a Tootsie Roll pop stick and an empty Yoo-hoo bottle. I want more, hb… post soonish please. cheers
I found it!! The interview I spoke of in which Jennifer mentions learning how to play hockey was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, July 26, 2000. As I said, I had not known of it til I recently saw it. She is soooooooo cute in this one. She feels very comfortable with Jon, she knows him well,apparently and she is just adorable. She is also wearing a black velvet sleeveless top, cut VERY LOW…my is it getting warm in here?
Hello My Friend, that was so freaking awesome… Hockey Night in Canada (where was Don Cherry to host this shin dig)hehe… that would have been some awesome commentary :P… You really love to de-construct these characters to their baser selves… I was in the ACC last night and I could just imagine something like this happening… you are brilliant my friend… just completely super brilliant… any chance of some Matrix(y) fun soon… hmmmmm… I’ll be sending you something most likely later today (Friday)… take care and have fun… Sincerely, JC
loved it HB!!! BeNNy was so funny, I loved their ‘fight’ !!! The hockey game was awesome!