She held Tina’s face between her hands and whilst she gently wiped her tears away said, “I’m going to make some coffee and get you something to eat and then you are going to take a long bath while I find you something to wear out of my fabulous wardrobe.”  Alice finished with a wink, hoping that by being her usual self she was helping Tina.  She sat for a few seconds looking into Tina’s eyes, she knew that Tina wasn’t ready to talk yet but she wanted her to know she was there for her and always would be.  Tina seemed to understand but only managed a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.  As she stood Alice placed a kiss on Tina’s forehead, “I’ll be making breakfast ok, come through when you’re ready.”

Tina hadn’t wanted her to leave.  She felt so alone at the moment.  Everything she held up in her heart had been taken away from her so quickly, so cruelly and without warning.  She was glad that Alice had left the bedroom door open and that she was able to hear the faint movement of Alice making breakfast and the hum of the radio in the background.  She felt like she should get up to help but she couldn’t move, all she could do was think.  Her mind was moving constantly and her trail of thought was jumping from one thing to another.  Her inner-self was conversing, arguing, debating – What went wrong?  Why had she lost the two most important people in her life, Bette and their baby?  Has she not been careful enough with the pregnancy?  Maybe she should have stayed at home more, or taken more vitamins or been more relaxed.  Had she been careless with their baby and with Bette?  Had she not loved Bette enough?  Should she have told her or shown her more often?  Had she not deserved them?  Was this some kind of cruel taunt from a God she didn’t believe in?  The sound of the phone and Alice‘s voice jolted Tina out of her pain and she walked into the living room, instinctively knowing who was on the other end of the line.  She stood quietly by the bedroom door to listen to Alice‘s end of the conversation, Alice hadn’t noticed her.