I Need to Blame You

Chapter Seventeen


I have an appointment to see Mr. Porter, it urked at Bette that she had do so just to speak to her own father.

And you might be?

Elizabeth Porter, his daughter.

Oh, well then if you will follow me right this way and ***** be with you in a second.

I dont have a second is he in his office or what?

Ms. Porter he is an a small meeting Bette didnt let her finish.

Daddy, we need to talk.

Melvin looked up at her, then at his colleagues apologized then took her into his office.

Young lady what are you doing just coming in like that.

Not now daddy. There is so much that I have to say and up until now I didnt think you deserved it, but now I can see that you do.

What are you talking about?

Daddy, Dad Tina and I have been separated for months, he was about to say something, Dont finally its might turn.

I cheated on her, and she left me. All this time I was doing a lot for what I thought was us, for her but all the while it was for you. I needed you to be proud of me. But instead I drove her away from me and I failed her. I didnt fail you, just her and myself. All this time you were showing me this way and that way, when both of those were your ways. You got what you wanted from me, an ivy-leagued, well educated, successful *****.

Elizabeth.

Let me finish, but none of that is important to me without her. I love her and I hate you for what you said to her about our kids. Every thing you showed me is what drove her away from me in the end. A cheater is what you were and a cheater is what you made me. How could you?

Elizabeth, I am so sorry

No youre not, and when I said sorry all those times, just like you, neither was I. But not anymore, living up to your standards left me with nothing, because I dont have her. At first I was sorry for loving women, but I will not be sorry for loving her ever. Granted I cant blame you for this, but I do. So Melvin, I can no longer do this with you ever again, so goodbye. With that she walked out the door and she let go of the hold that her father had once had on her.

Libby, Im home.”

“Hard day at work?” Bette knew she couldn’t lie to her, “Libby, I flew out to see my father today.

I thought you were at work.

I know I should have told you the truth, but
I didnt want you to worry.

Mom, are you okay.

Yeah, it just hurt a lot.

Did you eat, you want me to make you something.

No, Im just going to go to bed.

Dr. Kaysen had told her that letting go finally meant getting on.




Amy and Tina were cleaning up when there was a knock at the door. A little uncomfortable when Amy would answer her door, she got up to see who it was.

Ms. Kennard.

Melvin, what are you doing here?

Bette didnt tell him we werent together did she. He doesnt know does he? Is all that ran through her mind.

Please come in, but shes not here Melvin

I came to see you Ms. Kennard. Amy left to give them some time after Tina assured her everything would be okay and she would call her later.

Can I get you anything?

No thank you, please just sit down. A few days ago, Elizabeth came by and she let me have it.

I dont understand.

She told me of the two of you and she told me goodbye and walked away. Tina didnt think she had heard right, Bette leave her father?

I came to apologize because she was right. Everything I had shown her is what drove you away from her. I didnt teach her the right way, I taught her my way. Im the reason she cant be open, the reason she has a temper, and the reason she cannot ask for help. I am the reason she is a cheater.

Melvin, its not your fault.

Tina, that was the first time he had ever called her that, Please, I should have known better that to put all that on her. After her mother died, it was just us two, and I knew no other way. And when she told me she loved women that just pushed me a little more, for her to be more like me. In the end I made her just like me a cold-hearted cheater. I knew you were different and although I didnt agree with it, I could tell that you were the one. I knew how she was before, she was just like me, a womanizer, but then you came along and she was yours from the very beginning. In the inside I was happy for her, but I just couldnt tell her. Please I know I dont deserve it, but can you ever find it in your heart to even try to forgive me for what I did to her?

Melvin.

Dont say anything ok, just think about it. I have to go my plane is waiting for me.

Tina a little out of it didnt know how to react. First Bette coming out and saying what she could so easily, and now her father doing the same was something she never thought she would see. She was scared to dial, but she knew this was the only time she would have the nerve too.


Bette had to run an errand and while she was gone Tina called.

Hello,

Thats not her voice, and pictures of the ring Bette wore, the stories that came out of Bette with all these women, and this ladys voice on the other end, ran through her head.

Hello,

Hi, is um Bette there.

No she isnt, but I can take a message and have her call you.

No thank you, Ill try some other time, bye before she could hang up,

Tina wait, how did she know my name.

How do you know my name?

Because your not Kit Kat, Ive talked to Alice, Dana, and Jenny, and you dont sound foreign enough to be Marina, so that leaves Tina.

Oh,

Im Libby,

Hi, yes the daughter she remembered and sighed a sigh of relief.

She just stepped out for a minute. Is everything ok? I dont think youve ever called over here before.

Im good thanks, I just needed to have a word with Bette. Libby,

Yeah,

Is she doing ok?

Tina, in all honesty, I dont know every detail, but I can see the hurt in her eyes and can hear it in her voice, when she talks about the past.

The past, she was the past after all right?

But I know she loves you, she doesnt have to say it. And Im no one to say anything, but she is happy with me, but she cant be alone for the rest of her life right? I mean as in companionship in all.

But shes ok, she eats, sleeps, and all her usual stuff right.

Yeah she does all that and lives, breathes you. Or in the beginning she did, but

But what Libby?

Look, Tina, its not my place to say. But just know that maybe after all this time she has found a reason to forgive herself.

Tina didnt know what that meant, but she knew she wasnt going to find out either. Libby, dont tell her I called ok, but it was nice to meet you I guess and talk.

Yeah same here.