Never really losing You until Now

Chapter Nineteen


There in the waiting room, they all remained. They tried to comfort Libby, but no one could get through like Tina did. As Libby let Tina hold her, Tina asked,

Why do you love me so much? and she looked up at Tina then at Kit and said,

Because mom loves you a lot.

Tina could only hold on to the girl who was crying for her mother, and her holding on to the one that her mother loved.


After what it seemed like forever the doctor came into the room.

Is there an Elizabeth Ramirez and a Kit Porter.

They both stood up asking too many questions for him to answer.

Right now its hard to tell but there is no definite anything at the moment. Oh and when she came in she had a strong hold of this in her hand, she wasnt wearing it though, I imagine she had it around her neck or something.

And when he opened it, Tinas wedding ring was what he was holding. Tina recognizing it went to grab it from his hand

Thats my wedding ring.

Well I dont know how to say this but she had this grasp of it and we couldnt get it open, with her free hand she was fighting for us not to put the oxygen mask on her, it seemed as if she didnt want us to help her.

Thats crazy Tina thought

Why would she do that? Then Libby answered, turning to Tina

Because she cant live without you, without you she cant breathe. That ring that youre holding, from the moment I met her, she has had that ring around her neck and close to her heart. Never has she taken it off. You want to know how she falls asleep; she holds that ring in her hand because its the only way she can go to sleep. Sometimes in her sleep, I can hear calling your name. In the beginning when she used to tell me about all of you, you could see the pain in her eyes. She never told me what she did to end up alone, but you could see she was sorry. All she ever wanted to do was just fix it and make the world go away. She wanted to make your pain go away Tina.

The doctor continued,
When we calmed her down, it was kind of already late, and she stopped breathing, it was only then could we loosen her grasp.
Just hearing the words not breathing was all Tina could take. Tina not being able to take the rest of it in, closed her eyes, but she couldnt open them back up. Shane was there to catch her. The doctor looked her over, but said she would be fine.

But we revived her and at first she needed tubes to help her breathe, but now she is breathing on her own.


Many hours had passed and Tina was now awake. Bette was out of surgery and in recovery.

The doctor came to explain what now they did know.

Despite many bruises and scratches and what not, she has a broken right hand, a few cracked ribs, and some leg muscle was torn but those will all heal. The real concern is in her back and her legs.

Is she paralyzed?

Not exactly, you see with most of the car crushing her legs and lower back, they some how cut most of her nerves and muscle. Its not that she wont be able to walk, because she will, its just that with time the nerves and muscles will heal again, but she probably will be walking with some sort of support from now on. But when its gets too much for her to walk, she will have to resort to a wheelchair.

Libby and Kit were allowed to go and see her.

Tell her I love her.

In the room all Libby could do was cry, while Kit held her. Bette still hadnt woken up.





You were the One, the Only One

Chapter Twenty


Bette could hear sobs coming from somewhere, but she couldnt open her eyes to see. Her legs ached so badly and when she tried to move anything she would just die all over. Her throat so dry couldnt make a sound.

She couldnt remember much except telling Libby she would back. Everything else was really a blur. She remembered holding on to Tinas ring and telling no one in particular, that she was so sorry. And when she thought about her ring, she realized that it was no longer in her hand. With her free hand, because her right one hurt too much, she reached up to her neck and felt nothing.
Libby and Kit seeing her hand, just her hand move, called her name, but her hand just searched.

Shes looking for the ring.

Bette determined to even try to say anything could just moan,

Ts ring, her eyes were still closed, and her hand grew tired so she just left it resting across her chest.

Mom do you want her here. Shes waiting outside with everyone else.

Kit and Libby waited for her to do something or say something, but all she could do was shake her head no. They were surprised at her reply.

Bette was thinking that she couldnt let her see her like this, she had hurt Tina enough, and seeing her like this would not help any thing at all.

Everyone was still just sitting around trying to talk about everything else, when Libby and Kit came back.

How is she? Is she awake?

She hasnt opened her eyes, but she moved her hand.

Kit grabbed Tinas hand, which still held her ring.

T, baby girl, shes looking for her ring. She was looking for it around her neck, and she could only whisper where was her ring.

Can I take it to her?
Libby and Kit looked at each other.

Tina, um Libby asked her if she wanted you in there, and still with her eyes closed she shook her head no. Im sure she doesnt want you to see her like that, thats all.

But Kit I need to see her. I just cant do nothing.

Auntie Kit, I think I should take her in there.

But youre mom said no.

I know, but you know how stubborn she can be, she needs her too, she wants her in there, you know it.

With that Libby took a hold of Tinas hand and led her to the room.

She loves you, even I love you, and I dont even know you. Shes a little beat up, but this pain is nothing compared to the pain she suffers without you.

Tina just knowing she was tired of her life without Bette thanked her and opened the door.


Bette could here the door open and by just her presence she knew who it was. It was her, it was her Tina, and she desperately tried to open her eyes. She needed to see her.

Tina grabbing her hand could tell she was trying.

Dont Bette just relax and listen. The last few months we were both miserable, and yet we just wanted the other to be happy. In the beginning I let you apologize over and over until I was really ready to even try to start forgiving you. And when I did I knew you were sorry, I felt that you were, but by that time I was already going my way with Amy

And the mention of her name, Tina felt Bette squeeze her hand too tight.

let me finish Bette, and you were gaining the family that we couldnt have, yet. Despite the opposite directions we were going, I just wanted to be with you and only you, but I was scared. I knew you were changing trying to better yourself for her, but I still couldnt trust you. As friends I did because I didnt give you much leeway to try to hurt me again. I thought me not being able to trust you like that meant that there could no longer be an us. And Amy she was there for me in a way that you hadnt been in awhile. And I know that you ended things with Candace, but that wasnt enough for meat the time. And then your father coming over it was just too much for me.

Tina trying to be the strong one in the moment could no longer hold her tears. And there was when she had realized how Bette must have felt when she could no longer be the strong one. That it finally had taken its toll on her not being able to break because of her fear of letting not only Tina down, but all of them down.

Bette feeling Tinas tears, finally had forced opened her eyes and looked at Tina.
Bette managed to overcome her whispering,

T, dont.

Oh Bette I love you so much.

I know, but you were the one, you were always the only one.

It was then when the doctor came in unannounced.

Ms. Porter, I am so glad you have come to your senses and decided to open your eyes.

All Bette could do was force a smile.

Ms. Kennard was it, I think that it would be best if you could go and get some ice and water for Ms. Porter. I imagine that it must hurt to speak.

Before Tina made her way back into the room, she stopped by to let everyone know.

You guys, she opened up her eyes.

Is she ok. Are you guys ok, all these questions that had been on the tip of everyones tongues finally coming out.


It was then that Amy walked in.

Tina,

What are you doing here?

I fount an address Alice had left on the kitchen counter for you. How many did Alice leave, Tina thought.

And when I got there, some people told me you were over here. I was wrong to hit you, Im sorry I was just afraid to lose you.

Tina handed Shane the cup of ice and begun to pull off the ring Amy had given her,

Amy I was never yours to lose, I think this belongs to you. Now if you will excuse me, my wife needs me.

Tina collected her cup back and went back to where she belonged. When she walked into the room the doctor had just finished telling Bette of her condition.

So either way I wont be able to walk very much on my own?

You might have to use the help of a cane of some sort, but eventually you will get tired and you will have to have a wheelchair with you at all times. Bette not liking this could only close her eyes.

Could you give us a minute?

Sure

Baby here is you ice. Youre going to be ok. A chair isnt going to be so bad.
But what was Tina thinking, the idea of Bette having to give up her legs would not work for her. She wouldnt allow herself to lose control of anything much less her legs. She was ready for a small fight to ensue but it never came.

T, to be honest it doesnt matter about the chair.

Then baby what is it?

Bette turned her head and let the tears fall down her bruised face.

I just dont want to do this without you.
Tina didnt let her finish, she took the chain necklace she was wearing placed her ring on it and walked up to Bette.

Look at me Bette,

Bette turned to her,

T, wait,

Can you lift you head up just a little bit for me?

Bette did what she was told as Tina placed the chain around neck.

You dont have to do this alone, you have Libby, and everyone else out there, but baby most of all you have me.

And as much as Bette wanted that, she knew it wouldnt be right. Tina now had her life and as much as she wanted one with Tina in it, she didnt have it. Instead she had one of the greatest kids one could ever know. And maybe she too herself had finally had someone in her life.

Bette had felt that as much as she wanted to get back together, Tina would only do it because of what happened.

T, wait, you didnt let me finish. I dont want to this without you, I never wanted to do anything without you, but you have your life now, with Amy and you shouldnt have to give that up. So Tina, as much as I love you and need you here, I really want you to go back to her. I dont want any trouble for you.

Bette, wait,

Was Tina hearing right? She didnt know what to say, and she didnt want to unease Bette with all her anger building up, so she just walked out, once again.

Everyone still talking away, stopped when Tina appeared with tears running down her cheeks,

T, are you ok.

Alice please just take me to the hotel.
Alice looked around gathered her things and walked Tina out. In the car,
She wants me to be happy with Amy, Alice. What am I supposed to do about that?

I dont know Tina. But Alice knew she was ready to knock some sense into Bette. Was she crazy or did she just hit her head that hard in the accident?

Are you going to stay?

I dont know, Ill call you when I decide.
When Alice returned to the hospital she filled everyone in. Feeling out of place Callie decided it was time to go.

It was nice to meet you all. Libby just let your mom know I came by. Ill have my phone if you need anything.

Visiting hours had gone by and after Tina had walked out sleep took over Bette once again. Though Libby wanted to stay, Kit had said it would be best if she did.