“If we were to be fixated on the precise series of events, Jenny and
not myself, is the one who caused the glorious exit of Gabby Deveaux
from our presence,” said Helena in affectionate teasing, uncurling the
blonde hair from her grasp and brushing the back of her fingers against
Alice’s cheek in a tender gesture. “We mustn’t forget Jenny.”

“No, we mustn’t,” replied Alice, her eyes twinkling. “Especially since
she really does kick tons of ***** for somehow getting Gabby to lift her
up just so she could summon that bartender.”

“That was amusing, wasn’t it?” mused Helena, smiling.

“Way amusing,” Alice nodded, stretching her body out and curling then
uncurling her toes. Tilting her head back to look at Helena with a
guileless expression, she said, “Whose mother do you think would
survive in a desert island death match? Yours or mine?”

Releasing a sudden burst of incredulous and sputtering laughter, Helena
looked down at Alice who was now wearing a huge grin, and said, “I
haven’t the slightest idea, darling. Perhaps you might first tell me
what exactly a desert island death match involves.”

“The rules are simple,” Alice said, peering up at Helena. She lifted up
a hand and proceeded to tick off a finger for each of the elements
listed. “First you have to be on a desert island with no way to escape,
second you have to have a fight to the death…” Trailing off and
frowning slightly as she considered this, Alice said, “That’s pretty
much it.”

“I see,” said Helena rather thoughtfully. Her brow furrowed and she
contemplated the situation for a few moments then announced, “My mother
would surely best yours.”

“Are you kidding?” said Alice, outraged that Helena had come up with
that conclusion so very quickly. She paused and then peered up at
Helena with a suspicious gaze. “Have you even seen my mother? Like on
her TV show or movies, I mean?”

“Yes, darling,” said Helena humorously, rolling her eyes a bit. “I told
you my mother was a fan of hers. She was quite the expert on the
character she played on Umpire Falling.”

“Empire Falls!” Alice shrieked, becoming even more outraged because the
smirk forming on Helena’s face made her think that the heiress had
gotten the show name wrong on purpose. “There’s no way if you watched
any of that show you could think your mother would beat mine in a death
match. She totally got paid for six years to ***** slap women. Plus she killed three people and got away with it on the show.”