Peggy: “You think I’d ruin my granddaughter’s first Halloween costume?  Of course it’s ***** frozen!  In fact, it’s a Butterball.  Oh, and by the wayI want that costume back without so much as a smudge or I’ll have you cooked and displayed on my table.  I’m saving it so she can someday give it to her own daughter.”

Alice: “I’m personally going to have it dry cleaned.  I promise.”

Peggy: “Good.  Now put it in a safe place and Alice“

Alice: “Yes, yes I’m here, Peggy”

Peggy: “Have a wonderful holiday dear.  Ciao.”

Alice walked into the kitchen to find Shane laughing on the floor as Carmen held up the now unzipped turkey costume.  “Hey, be careful with thatand where the ***** is the turkey that was in it??”

Jenny who was standing over the sink, said, “Its right here, Alice?”

Carmen: “You dressed a frozen turkey upIN A TURKEY COSTUME??  Do you even see how wrong that is?”

Dana: “How the ***** did you guys manage that one?”

Shane: “Don’t look at me.  We didn’t do it”

Alice: “It doesn’t matter.  What matters, Dana, is that it got done.  And without the help of Frick and Frack over here, I might add, we’re having turkey tomorrow.  Mission accomplished.  Now let’s get this ***** in the oven.”

Alice grabbed the costume from Carmen’s shocked hands and gently folding it in half, draped it over the chair.

Shane wiped the tears from her eyes and looking up at the clock, said, “Uh, this is going to have to wait.”  Standing up she looked at Jenny and Carmen and said, “Ladies, it’s feeding time,” before running off into the living room. 

Dana: “Feeding time?  What does the ***** that mean?”

Carmen ran past Dana and said, “Oh, you’ll see”

Jenny turned the water off and drying her hands, said, “Oh my god, you both have to see this.”

Bette walked through the backyard and slowly creeping up the back steps, began peering through the window.  Seeing the unzipped turkey costume hanging over the back of the chair, she whispered, “You sick *****” before quietly turning the door *****.