Crying in front of Spencer because of Spencer may seem like a bitch ass move to you, but to me it’s all I could do, it’s all I have…she’s all I have. The thought of her seeing me like this; so weak, so vulnerable; doesn’t cross my mind, I don’t feel stupid or ridiculous, all I feel is broken. And feeling this, the only person who can make me feel any better, make me feel anything, is Spencer. And I have to say I am grateful for the mood shift that Mariah gave us. “Paula’s right, you do play your music too loud.” I tell her as we continue laughing.

I pull away from Spencer and we’re both still chuckling as I quickly dry my face with my sleeves.

“When is he getting here?” I ask, because I want to be out of here before he arrives, and I don’t want to risk passing him on the street either.

“About a half hour.” I should be well out of the way by then.

“Okay.” I say as I nod and look down.

“Ash…” she says as she tilts my head up “I know this is hard for you.”

“You have no idea.” I breathe out.

“I know, I don’t. But please could you try to accept this, for me?” No way, no how, never gonna happen.

“I can try. It doesn’t mean it will happen, but I’ll try.” I’ll what?

“Thank you, that’s all that I ask.”

“Okay” I say as I try to smile. Nope, no smile here.

“Ashley I want you to know that I really like Aiden, and I don’t want to lose you over it, I love you Ash, you’re my best friend. But I don’t think this is just some two week thing, you know?”

“I know.” Another pause. “Just be careful Spence, with yourself, with your heart.” Because I know this guy is bad news, I can feel it. “And don’t rush into anything, don’t let him control you or make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“Okay, I promise. And the sex thing, I won’t rush into that. I’ve made a pact with myself not to even think about it until I’ve been with someone for six months.” I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of him getting to be with Spencer so intimately.