“It basically said that although she loved me, she couldn’t watch me go through that. She said she was sorry she couldn’t be stronger for me and that she would always love me.

Everything changed after that. I wasn’t quite sure why I should even want to live anymore. Julie was my everything, and then she was just gone. There was one night where I was in so much pain. I felt like everything had just piled on and I couldn’t breathe. I laid there in bed, tears running down my face and closed my eyes and asked God – whoever was up there – to please put me out of my misery. God, I was just so tired Spence. I was so lonely and so tired.”

A tear began to slide down a pale cheek and was quickly wiped away by the owner’s hand.

“The next day, I woke up and for the first time in months, I felt decent enough to eat an actual meal. Things started small. I ate more. My headaches became less frequent and my weakness decreased and then the doctors told me that I was in remission.

A choked laugh escaped her lips.

“God, if that wasn’t proof of someone up there listening, I don’t know what is. I had a long road ahead of me and I knew it, but I was finally ready to try. A year and a half later I moved to New York, by myself. I didn’t have a job or a place to live and I was okay with that. I started waiting tables and found a little closet of a room in the city to rent and for the first time in a long time, things started looking up. That was five years ago. Two years after that I met Aiden, and now I’m here. With you.”

Spencer didn’t know what to say. Her mind was racing. Should she apologize? Should she ask questions? Should she stay quiet? She felt like she should say something, so she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

“Why did you leave this morning?”

Pursing her lips in anger the minute the words left her mouth, she internally chastised herself for asking that question.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Please don’t answer that. You basically just told me the epic story of your life and I went and shitted all over it. I’m sorry, I just-

“Hey,” Ashley’s hand landed on top of hers, “It’s okay. It’s an understandable question.”

“This morning, when I was in the bathroom, I saw a bruise on my leg that I hadn’t noticed before. Nervous curiosity got the best of me so I started looking at the rest of myself and noticed a few other ones I hadn’t seen before. Then I remembered that I had been feeling weak and getting sick the last couple of days and my mind flew back to my doctor. I went to see him for a checkup about 8 months ago and everything was fine, but he warned me to always keep an eye out for the signs of a relapse, which is exactly what I was experiencing. So, I freaked. I came out and I didn’t even want to look at you because I knew if I did that I would start crying and tell you everything and I couldn’t do that yet. I went for a walk. Sat down by the lake for a while. Thought things through and then I came back and here you were.”

Silence echoed throughout the room.

“Yeah, here I was.”

A minute passed with no words spoken, and then a voice broke through.

“So, where do we go from here?”