The water was hot, it stung at first getting my skins full attention.  I stood there letting it burn my back, the water seeping into the scratches cleansing them of what they meant.  Healing them.  I was thankful that my reflection couldn’t follow me in here, she would’ve been ashamed.  I couldn’t help but think of you.  That look in your eyes before you left, I didn’t get it.  Was it hate?  I’ve never known you to hate anything, not truly anyways.  In that I realized that I wouldn’t even know if it was looking right through me, I think it was.  My head dropped in defeat, I didn’t want you to ever hate me, I couldn’t take that.  The thought made me sick, so right there in the shower I DID get sick.  I let myself fall to the shower floor completely and cry, letting the water carry the tears away.

 “Why do you let her do this to you?”  The reflection said when I got out of the shower.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.  SPENCER led you on, SHE came here and fucked you, SHE left.  The way I see it SPENCER has the problem.”  Slowly but surely enough I found myself agreeing with my reflection, I think just out of spite for myself. 

 SPENCER’S POV

 “Spence, are you serious?”  Aiden asked shock making his eyes bug.

 “Why does everyone keep asking me that today?”  I giggle through tears, “Yes I’m serious.  I’m sorry.”  I cried knowing I was hurting him, that I had hurt you.  I laughed because in all truth I had no idea what I was doing.  I just know I couldn’t be with him, when it’s you I really wanted, fully.

 “Why” He asked, eyes filling with pain.  “I thought we were, okay.”  He finished obviously now blaming himself.  I can only imagine what’s going on in his head, okay I can’t, but how would it feel to have had sex with your girlfriend for the first time one night, and then the next day she leaves you?

 I placed myself in front of him while on my knees as to attain full eye contact.  “You are GREAT.  More than that, you’re the best,” I said in all honesty “This has nothing to do with you.  I was lucky to have a guy like you even interested.