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Ten Degrees of Separation – (Chapter: Recasting the Primal Scene)
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"And the other reason?" Kerry asked slowly, awareness beginning to creep over her features.
"The other reason…" Kim echoed faintly, her eyes drifting away from Kerry’s and roving over the institutionally sickly green walls. "The relatively minor physical pain they suffer… it… distracts them from the larger, more incomprehensible emotional pain they’re in. To them… the physical pain actually makes the other… more bearable."
Stillness.
Then: "She’s your way of cutting." This in a whisper.
Kim swallowed tightly, not wanting to see what was reflected in Kerry’s eyes. "She’s on her way to someplace else. Someone else. I’m just…"
"She’s the worst thing you could do to yourself, Kim." The sorrow and regret clear in Kerry’s voice.
"It doesn’t hurt quite so much when I’m with her."
"At what cost?" Now Kerry was in her face, small fingers gripping her jaw and forcing their eyes to meet. "What kind of scars do you want?"
"They can’t be any worse than the ones I’ve already got," Kim replied calmly. "Or the ones I’ve left you with."
"We’re not talking about me right now."
"That’s just it, Kerry, we are talking about you right now. And me. And us. And all the wounds we’ve inflicted on each other, and all the healing we haven’t done. All those scars rip open inside of me every single day, and I can’t stand it anymore." She twisted her head away from Kerry’s grasp, the warmth of her touch too intimate to bear. "Being with her… what it gives me isn’t peace, but it’s the closest thing I’ve had to it since I walked away from you."
********
Heads ducked immediately and eyes averted hastily as first Kim, then Kerry, emerged from the ladies room with no visible damage done to either of their persons. "So what do you think happened in there?" Chen leaned close to Abby, speculation glittering in her brown eyes.
"Do you really think I’m the one you want to be asking about it?" she snapped quietly, keeping her own head down as Chen gingerly backed away. She hadn’t really realized what was happening until Kim was out the door, hot on Kerry’s heels, trying as discreetly as possible to flag the redhead down. She couldn’t believe that out of all the people in the ER to see them together, Kerry had to be the one. Of course, in a twisted sense, it was perfect– because, God knew, the ER chief wouldn’t be telling anyone else about it. She knew that kissing Kim in the drug lock-up should earn her some sort of Darwin Award, but she hadn’t quite been able to stop herself from falling into those blue eyes and the concern that shone so unmistakably from them. "What the hell was I thinking?" she muttered to herself, wanting nothing more than to beat her head against the brick wall of her own foolhardiness.
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I have to admit that I stopped watching ER several years ago, but after reading this, two things came to mind. 1. If I could have watched this story, with this dialogue on my TV screen I would still be watching faithfully each and every week. 2. This was a great reminder of why I shouldn’t ever work in a hospital…way too much gossip!!!! LOL Wonderful story…beautiful writing. Thank you for posting this here. And thank you for inspiring Jacky. The degrees of separation continue to prove true. While you were writing this, did you ever think that because of someone somewhere reading it, that a fan site would be established for a completely different show, that would in turn change thousands of lives all around the world? I know, amazing isn’t it…the power of a story. Thanks again.
I have to admit that I stopped watching ER several years ago, but after reading this, two things came to mind. 1. If I could have watched this story, with this dialogue on my TV screen I would still be watching faithfully each and every week. 2. This was a great reminder of why I shouldn’t ever work in a hospital…way too much gossip!!!! LOL Wonderful story…beautiful writing. Thank you for posting this here. And thank you for inspiring Jacky. The degrees of separation continue to prove true. While you were writing this, did you ever think that because of someone somewhere reading it, that a fan site would be established for a completely different show, that would in turn change thousands of lives all around the world? I know, amazing isn’t it…the power of a story. Thanks again.
Sharon is the writer that made me fall in love with fan fiction–with this story. Watch for a terrific interview with her on the site next week. ENJOY!!!
Sharon is the writer that made me fall in love with fan fiction–with this story. Watch for a terrific interview with her on the site next week. ENJOY!!!
Gosh! This is fantastic. I love all the characters on ER and you’ve done a truly excellent job with all the conflicting emotions and the power of irresistible forces of attraction between Abby and Kim. I enjoyed every word.
Gosh! This is fantastic. I love all the characters on ER and you’ve done a truly excellent job with all the conflicting emotions and the power of irresistible forces of attraction between Abby and Kim. I enjoyed every word.