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Ten Degrees of Separation – (Chapter: Recasting the Primal Scene)
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"What about lifestyle and between us and your damned silence?" Kim shot back. "Three months of it, Kerry, that’s all I had while the Chicago PD tried to decide whether or not I was a child molester. While Robert Romano set fire to my professional bridges and you sat on your hands about it because you were paralyzed by what other people might think about you and the Psych Dyke. Admit it, Kerry," she finished with a weary sigh, the fury draining from her as quickly as it had erupted. "We both fucked this relationship all to hell."
The burst seemed to clear the air, at least momentarily; and Kerry acceded to Kim’s point with a graceful incline of her head. "That’s a colorful way of putting it."
"I’m fresh out of tact and discretion."
"I noticed that in the drug lock-up."
"You probably won’t believe me, but I was going to tell you."
"How long has it been going on?"
"Honestly? About 19 hours."
Kerry seemed to consider this answer for a long moment before she spoke, as if deliberating something. "You never answered my question." At Kim’s imploring look, she elaborated, "Why?"
Kim took a steadying breath, more than a little surprised that Kerry hadn’t continued out the door, that she had instead chosen to stay. The paradigm of retreat as solution had been established early on in their relationship, and– if the almost overwhelming urge she had to escape right now was any indication– it was going to prove the hardest to shift. "Do you remember that girl I admitted last week? Louisa?"
Kerry cocked her head in confusion, blinking rapidly as she searched her memory. "The one with all the scars on her arms? The attempted suicide?"
Kim nodded in confirmation. "Except she’s not a suicide. She’s a cutter. You familiar with the pathology at all?"
"Mostly young girls with body image issues, isn’t it? They derive some sort of pleasure from wounding themselves. Punishing their bodies."
Kim grimaced and shook her head. "Not exactly." She blew out a breath and paced the length of the bathroom before turning to face Kerry once again. Her ex-lover was leaning against the door, watching her with an open expression miles away from the shuttered reserve that had marked their interactions of late. For better or worse, Kerry was really seeing her; and the idea made the painful convulsion of her heart even stronger. "Cutters bleed for two reasons. One is that they’re in such emotional pain that they literally don’t have the words to express how they’re feeling. The cut does that for them– it’s okay to hurt now because, look, there’s the injury."
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I have to admit that I stopped watching ER several years ago, but after reading this, two things came to mind. 1. If I could have watched this story, with this dialogue on my TV screen I would still be watching faithfully each and every week. 2. This was a great reminder of why I shouldn’t ever work in a hospital…way too much gossip!!!! LOL Wonderful story…beautiful writing. Thank you for posting this here. And thank you for inspiring Jacky. The degrees of separation continue to prove true. While you were writing this, did you ever think that because of someone somewhere reading it, that a fan site would be established for a completely different show, that would in turn change thousands of lives all around the world? I know, amazing isn’t it…the power of a story. Thanks again.
I have to admit that I stopped watching ER several years ago, but after reading this, two things came to mind. 1. If I could have watched this story, with this dialogue on my TV screen I would still be watching faithfully each and every week. 2. This was a great reminder of why I shouldn’t ever work in a hospital…way too much gossip!!!! LOL Wonderful story…beautiful writing. Thank you for posting this here. And thank you for inspiring Jacky. The degrees of separation continue to prove true. While you were writing this, did you ever think that because of someone somewhere reading it, that a fan site would be established for a completely different show, that would in turn change thousands of lives all around the world? I know, amazing isn’t it…the power of a story. Thanks again.
Sharon is the writer that made me fall in love with fan fiction–with this story. Watch for a terrific interview with her on the site next week. ENJOY!!!
Sharon is the writer that made me fall in love with fan fiction–with this story. Watch for a terrific interview with her on the site next week. ENJOY!!!
Gosh! This is fantastic. I love all the characters on ER and you’ve done a truly excellent job with all the conflicting emotions and the power of irresistible forces of attraction between Abby and Kim. I enjoyed every word.
Gosh! This is fantastic. I love all the characters on ER and you’ve done a truly excellent job with all the conflicting emotions and the power of irresistible forces of attraction between Abby and Kim. I enjoyed every word.