“It’s quiet here,” Spence said in a whisper.

“Yeah,” I agreed, allowing the silence to consume us once again.  I tapped my fingers on the arm of the swing as we swayed lightly, forwards and backwards, wishing I was finding it as easy to talk to Spencer as it usually was.  I watched her out of the corner of my eye and noticed how she kept opening her mouth like she was going to say something, then she would slightly shake her head as if telling herself to keep quiet.  I could hear laughter from elsewhere in the garden, and felt that it was mocking my unusual weakness.  I half wished that I’d just gone with Aiden instead of coming after Spencer.

“So, you enjoying the party?” I suddenly asked after a few more minutes had passed by.

“Yeah,” she replied flatly.  “Didn’t think there would be this many people here though.”

“Me neither,” I agreed, not really having anything else to say in response.  “It’s a good party though.”

“Yeah, it’s great.”

It really, really wasn’t.

“He’s got a big house,” she said for no apparent reason except to perhaps keep us from disappearing back into that black void where we said nothing and avoided eye contact.

“It’s good for playing hide and seek in,” I smiled, fondly remembering the good old days when life was easy and love was something that only mature people experienced, and therefore it didn’t complicate or infringe on our young lives.

“Oh yeah?” she asked, suddenly looking at me as though I’d said something groundbreaking.  I nodded and decided to continue the conversation, even though all I really wanted to discuss was what happened when innocent fun between two friends turned into something a whole lot deeper.

“I always won ‘cos Aiden would get impatient and give up looking for me,” I smiled as I recounted the memory.  “And he always used to hide in the same place.”

“Typical Aiden,” she laughed.

“Yeah – he was rubbish!” I winked.  “Nothing’s changed there.”

She didn’t say anything, although I noticed her eyes glaze over slightly as though my talk of Aiden was getting to her all of a sudden.  I didn’t know what it meant, but thought that maybe if she liked me then she would perhaps be jealous of Aiden, considering he was supposedly my boyfriend, and therefore probably didn’t like it when I mentioned him.  I decided I was being stupid – of course she didn’t like me!

“I found a great spot, up in this tree,” I told her, looking up at the branches above us.  “About two thirds of the way up there’s a really flat bit near the trunk that you can sit on, and you can see the whole house and garden – but ‘cos of all the leaves and branches around it no one can see you when you’re there.”

“Sounds cool,” she smiled softly.

“It is… Aiden doesn’t know this but sometimes when I was younger, if I was fed up at home or needed some time by myself, I’d climb up there and just chill out for a bit…”

“Kind of like how we’re sitting here now?” she suggested.  “For some peace?”

“Yeah – only back then I didn’t have you around, so everything seemed a lot harder,” I admitted, quickly averting my eyes from hers as my face blushed at the realisation of what I’d said.

“I know what you mean,” she said soothingly.  “Although I get the impression things haven’t really got much easier for you the older you’ve become.”

I looked at her again and smiled.  “No, but at least you’re here with me -”

“ – to hold your hand?” She laughed.  I didn’t find it so funny.

“Spence, can I ask you something?”  I suddenly blurted, taking even myself by surprise.

“You didn’t really give me much of a choice there, did you?” she winked.

“Funny,” I sighed, “but you know what I mean.”

“I do,” she nodded.  “But do you have to?”

“Yeah,” I told her.  “More than anything.”

She inhaled deeply, as if preparing herself for what she knew was inevitably going to come next.  Her eyes fixed onto mine and I felt my palms begin to sweat with apprehension, knowing that whatever was said between us from then on could change everything we had grown accustomed to.  I stuttered slightly, wishing I was bold enough to say what I desperately wanted to say.  A few moments passed where she stared at me expectantly, silently willing me to continue.  I cleared my throat.

“What happened between us back there?” I asked.