I sign onto my Facebook. Jason is online and immediately instant messaging me. I talk to him for a second before Ashley steals the laptop and talks to him instead. I’m too drunk to type properly anyway, so I didn’t mind.

Ashley looks around frantically for a moment and then says, “Where did my glasses go?”

“Shit, I didn’t see them on the table. They must still be on the porch. I’ll get them.” I stand up and get an immediate head rush. As I walk down the hallway I notice two things. One: My parents went to bed. Two: the hallway isn’t supposed to spin.

I opened the door leading to the porch and left it open. I closed the screen door although it was really difficult to open for some reason. I grabbed her glasses and the blanket off of the futon and began heading back. When I tried to open the door, it wouldn’t budge. It was locked.

You’re a genius. You locked yourself out of your own house.

Shit, how do I get in?

It’s a screen door, your bedroom door is open and there is a person inside!

How the fuck does that help me?

Wow, you shouldn’t drink anymore. Call out for Ashley, she will hear you.

Oh…

“Ashley” I call out loudly and pathetically. I hear nothing. “ASHLEY!”

“Hold on” she calls from the bedroom.

“Ashley” I sing out again.

I hear her coming. “Where are you?”

“Porch, I locked myself out.”

She opens the door for me. I realize then that she is on the phone. Who the fuck is she calling at three in the morning? She gives me a sneaky smile and walks back to the bedroom. I follow her back and immediately remove my pants and crawl into the bed and pull the blanket over me.

“We need to go out to the living room since Mom and Dad went to bed.” Ashley tells me.

“Oh man, that means I gave to put pants back on.” I complain.

“Just wrap a blanket around you.” She says.

As I do so, I finally ask who she is talking to. She then takes that chance to smile widely and hand me the phone. I look at the screen, hoping it will tell me. It only shows a number, no name. “Hello” I say into the phone.