I turn around to face the chalk board and stuff the note in my pocket. I just can’t open it. Just can’t. I see there’s only 15 minutes left in homeroom and decide that maybe a retreat was in order. Going to hide in the bathroom for a good 10 minutes sounds like a very good idea to me. The less time I spend time here the better.

I raise my hand and ask, “Ms. Ball, my I go to the restroom?”

“Sure, come and get the pass.” Ms. Ball smiles

I quickly go up and grab the pass. As I pass the trash can next to her desk I throw the notes away. I wasn’t going to read them. I just wasn’t. There really wasn’t any point. When I get to the restroom I just stand in front of the mirror and try to get my thoughts together. I try to get myself together. Tears where already threatening to roll down my face. God, it’s so hard seeing her. So, so hard. It just hurt. Really, really hurt. That’s when I hear the restroom door open.

I blink the tears away and begin to wash my eyes when I hear, “Hey”

I turn and face her. As soon as I heard her greeting I knew it was her. I take a deep breath and mutter, “Hi.”

“Umm…how was your summer?” Spencer asks nervously

“Fine.” I say as I turn off the water and dry my hands

“Well, that’s good. You know I’ve missed you.” Spencer says as she comes closer to me

“I thought your conquest would of kept you busy.” I snap angrily as I begin to walk past her

She grabs my arm and says softly, “Ashley, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt me? Really? You didn’t think that playing with my emotions would hurt me? I was just a game for you Spencer. Nothing more, nothing less.” I say angrily as I yank my arm away from her

“Listen, I just want…” Spencer tries to say but I cut her off

“Look, I’m done listening to your lies. You don’t care about me. You never did. So go back to breaking girls in and leave me alone. I’m sure you already got your laughs from me and I’m not going to give you more.” I say angrily trying to hold the tears back

“It’s not like that Ashley. I made a mistake. Can’t we at least be friends?” Spencer asks sadly.

“No. I can’t trust you anymore. I should have never trusted you. I will not let you hurt me again.” I cry. A tear goes down my face. Damn, I couldn’t hold it.

Spencer tries to wipe it away but I pull away from her touch. I can see that my action hurt her but I didn’t give a damn. She sighs sadly and asks, “Please Ash, give me another chance. Please. Just be my friend.”

I shake my head sadly and say, “I can’t be just your friend, Spencer. It has to be more. I need more and you can’t give it to me because you don’t feel anything for me. So the answer is no.”

I didn’t let her respond. I just walked out of restroom and this time she didn’t stop me.