Beautiful Disaster

Chapter Two: The Heart Travels As We Sleep

its not hard to dream you’ll always be my konstantine…My Konstantine, they’ll never hurt you like I do

-Something Corporate, "My Konstantine"

 

Ashley swung open the large oak door and slammed it behind her. Tears were running down her face but the rain that fell hard covered the stains on her cheeks. She was running, and Bianca was calling her name. She was so hurt that she couldn’t breathe, so let down that she wanted to scream out to the world how much she hated it. She loved Bianca, with all of her god forsaken heart, with every single tear she loved her. She would never tell her, she would never admit how sick this made her feel, how worthless the thought of Bianca with another made her feel, no they weren’t dating but she wanted her…she needed her…she loved her.

She spun around, tears and rain mixing together, and there was Bianca. Beautiful, strong, always the protector but never the protected. How could this happen to her? "Why?!" Ashley called out angrily, it wasn’t Bianca she was mad at, it was the world, but Bianca was the closest thing to it.

Bianca walked towards her, by the redness in her eyes Ashley knew she too was crying.

"I told you! I told you a million times that if you loved me you would tell me to stop and I WOULD! Now this happened, if you want there to be an us then so do I! But I won’t give up what I do for someone that won’t love me!" Ashley tried to interject but Bianca put a finger over her lips, "Just be quiet! I am sorry for all I’ve done to you, the drugs, the fights, I’M SORRY! But I’ve always loved you, I love you now, I’ll love you tomorrow and this baby will love you too!" Ashley cried even more at the mention of a child inside of Bianca, put there by force from one of her stupid clients from their stupid friend, how she wanted to kill Madison.

"You don’t deserve this, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…" She repeated it, over and over she sobbed there in the rain, repeating her sorries…if only Ashley had been brave enough, if only she had admitted what she felt then none of this would have happened. She didn’t want this for Bianca, she was only seventeen and with child, a child of rape.

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