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    Beautiful Disaster – (Chapter: Chapter Four: Perfect Fit)

    Beautiful Disaster

    Chapter Four: Perfect Fit

     

    i feel a weakness coming on-never felt so good to be so wrong, had my heart on lockdown and then you turned me around

    -BoysLikeGirls, "Hero/Heroine"

     

    "Okay, so who was your first?" Spencer asked me as we walked towards the movie store. She would be spending the night at my house and for some odd reason we had started talking about what we’re into…to be honest I was kind of scared of how she would take it.

    "Well…my first EVERYTHING was Alex," I waited for a reaction, anything, any sign of disgust any sign of her running, but she just looked surprised.

    "Alex? The best friend that screwed you over? THAT Alex??" She had stopped walking and was looking at me as if to say, ‘God you’re stupid’.

    I laughed, she did that a lot to me, made me laugh, made all the cold in me feel warm again. At first I felt guilty, I felt as if I didn’t deserve it, that I should be going through hell because of what I had done. But then she’d smile, and something small in me would tell me that maybe all the heartbreak from the past was to bring me to these moments, the moments when she would smile up at me.

    "Yah that Alex, she was my first. I’ve done shit with guys too…I went through a pretty shitty phase I guess." I admitted, little did she know Alex and I had just had sex last week.

    "So do you guys still…you know?" Or maybe she would know. Why did she ask so many questions about me, thats all she ever did was ask questions lately. I hated it, I didn’t need her to find out anything more about me.

    "Um yah we do. She wants us to date but I told her I wouldn’t be in a relationship with her unless we had some like, ‘terms’." Terms? Why did I want terms, why wouldn’t I just go out with the chick? The sex was hot, she was always sweet to me. Oh yah, I remember why I didn’t want her…because after the first night we had sex and she told me we’d be together forever, she made out with my ex boyfriend the next day. Mind you this was back in like grade eight and we were just kids and losing her led me to Bianca…Oh Bianca.

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