Spencer: Please figure out what you want before it kills us both.

I said and the bell rang signaling the end of break. I began walking the way I had started and her voice stopped me once again.

Ashley: Spencer…I love you.

And she said it…but I couldn’t.

  Spencer: Ill see you later.

I simply said and made my way to third period. The fact that we were doing this all over again made me crazy because all I wanted was her. I didn’t know that actually having her would be so complicated and screwed beyond up. I knew where I wanted to be…the thing was that she didn’t. It wasn’t over between us of course because I refuse to give up that easily but I’m on the brink of giving up and I hate to even say those words but I am. And not because there’s has to be something better if I let her and her jumbled complications go but because I don’t think my heart can take it much longer. She’s playing a juggling game with my it and pretty soon its gonna fall and hit the floor…and when it does that will be the end of me.

I made my way into third period, still completely wrapped in the thoughts swarming around my head. That’s pretty much how the rest of the day went on; with me lost inside my own head trying to figure out why she has commitment issues and then thinking maybe it’s just me and am I pushing her to hard? I mean it’s definitely not something she’s use to. Then I start to think maybe I’m the bitch for not being patient enough to wait for her until she feels ready to commit…but then again I think if she really loves me then it shouldn’t even be that hard. I swear if you ask me what the hell it was I did in all my classes today I couldn’t even tell you the gist of it. I couldn’t comprehend anything with my head being so clogged up with my recent situation.

It was now lunch and I was walking with Kyla to my locker. I told her everything that had happened and of course her first reaction was to hit Ashley. That was always her reaction and solution to my problems. Hit Ashley. She said it made everyone feel better because she was most likely causing the problems of all the other unhappy individuals in our school. Kyla definitely had insane logic.