I cut her off.

Spencer: Not that deep? What the fuck Ashley?

I said and I could tell she regretted what she said but it was too late. I was already riled up.

Ashley: Spence, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that me being ashamed to call you my girlfriend isn’t the reason why I haven’t asked you. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal to you.

Ashley said and I shook my head, getting up from my seat.

Spencer: Well it is Ashley, it’s a big deal to me because look how it turned out the last time I was  your girlfriend non exclusively. It turned out for shit and I don’t wanna go through that again. Either I’m your girlfriend or I’m not, simple as that.

I waited to see if she was going to say something. Anything. She didn’t. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

Spencer: Then I guess I have my answer right there.

I said as I began to walk away from her.

Ashley: Spencer wait…please…

She said and I stopped in my tracks. I turned to face her.

Spencer: What do you want from me Ashley? You tell me that you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with me and that you love me but you can’t even make me your girlfriend. If this is a game to you then I don’t want to play anymore. It just makes everything complicated and confusing, which is something I don’t need. You have to make up your mind whether you want me or not because I’m not gonna be around forever Ashley. If you want me then I’m all for it because I love you and I don’t believe I could ever love anyone else as much as I love you…but if not, then let me know so I can rip the damn band-aid off already. Because the longer you leave it on, the more it’s going to hurt me if I have to rip it off.

I said to her as tears stung at my eyes. I couldn’t believe we were doing this again. Just when I thought things were good between us she lets me know they aren’t. I’m not trying to blame her either but god she needs to figure out what she fucking wants. The tears that had accumulated cascaded down my face and I wiped them away.