Tina’s Bedroom

The darkness that filled the room did nothing to help Bette’s mind stop its incessant circling. Tina’s response earlier had been more than she could have ever dreamed possible. She had been convinced that her sordid tale of shame and degradation would ultimately cause her lover to turn away from her in disgust. Even if Tina had been able to forgive the past it was the secret of it that Bette had been sure would cause her to ask Bette to leave her house and her life forever. God knew there had been enough of those in their relationship in the past! Tina’s words mixed with the passion and focus of her intense lovemaking had convinced Bette that Tina had been sincere in her acceptance and forgiveness of the past and she had found herself crying with relief as she felt the first twinges of self- forgiveness and healing blossom.

Idly, Bette played with the slightly damp blond curls that circled Tina’s sleeping face as she stared wide eyed at the ceiling. They had moved from the kitchen to the pool at some point in the evening–exactly when Bette was not sure. Time had seemed irrelevant, she had wanted only to drink her fill of Tina and never let go of the bond that she had felt had somehow formed between them with sharing the truth about Monique. Their coming together in the pool had been slower and filled with more laughter and playfulness than Bette could ever remember existing between them. Tired finally they had crept quietly to the bedroom, not wanting to wake Angelica and climbed between the sheets, wrapped up in each others arms.

The first time she had found herself awake Bette had thought some noise in the night had startled her but she had lain for several minutes and there had been no noise, nothing out of the ordinary just the quiet hum of the monitor on the night table and the Tina’s gentle, contented breathing beside her in the bed. Finally, she had been able to drift off again into to oblivion of sleep. When she found herself staring at the clock whose neon green face read 5:10 am Bette had no doubt what had woken her— images of that night so long ago had filled her sleeping mind with a ferocity that tore at her soul. That would have been bad enough if that had been all her mind had conjured up but the past had bled without mercy into the present–Monique standing over her laughing, taunting her, trying to seduce her, promising in exchange she would keep the knowledge she possessed to herself and not share it with Tina. It had not been that which had tore her gasping for air from her sleep it was the understanding that Monique had a whole world she could share the knowledge she possessed with. Tina had forgiven her, had tried to understand and had even found honour in what she had done but if that knowledge was passed to Hodie or the Board of Directors her professional life, reputation and all that had worked so hard for would be gone! The world was a harsh place and its inhabitants were often unforgiving and vindictive.