Well, with Bette on her way to Mexico, Shane MIA, and Lara Perkins off to Paris with Jenny’s one night stand, whose name conveniently slipped my mind, the girls had no choice but to pack up and head on home.  The drive back was a long and hard one, obviously, what with Peggy choosing the worst moment in history to become a lesbian again, I mean, well, she had taken the better car, you see, and that was just fucked up in this fan fiction writer’s opinion.  But we’ll get back to that later and besides, Max has a truck.

The ride home was a cramped one indeed, but the girls made do.  Stopping every so often to gas up (SUV’s require a lot of gas, which in turn, fucks with the environment) at whatever local gas station slash convenience store they could find.  Henry had decided back in Canada that dyke drama was better left for the television networks, so he packed up and got to stepping while the stepping was good.  Smart choice, considering he wouldn’t fit in this story anyways because I leave the straight heterosexual male arc’s for all those “other” fan fictions and try my best to concentrate on the lesbo factor.  Probably because I am one.   

Alice and Lara…and Dana

Alice wasn’t too heart broken when Lara told her she would be going back to France with Jenny’s one night stand, in fact, she half expected it.  Lara loved France when the going got tough and Alice knew tough times were ahead.  She had become addicted to Dana’s zolpidem (ambien) prescription and had grown so dependent on it that it would only be a matter of time before Lara found out and tried to rain on her parade.   You see, every time Alice popped a Dambien, (Dana + ambien) Dana would appear to her, live and in the flesh.  And I’m sorry, but there aren’t enough croissants in Paris to make her give that shit up, and besides, I need Dana for the story.

Jenny and Max

Jenny felt the world’s weight lift off of her the second she kicked Max to the curb back in Canada.  She made it an amicable split though, for two reasons.  1.) She’s still writing the story about Max’s transition.  No, bad facial hair and aggression does not a male make.  Max has yet to have his top surgery, not to mention the pale rubber penis will be traded in for the real thing eventually, and Jenny knows that’s when her bread will really be buttered.  And 2.) They needed a ride home.