Maybe a shower will help clear the cobwebs, she thought hopefully. Tim had left early for work, Robin and Gene shortly thereafter. She could count on getting in and out of the bathroom without having to deal with her ex and decided to take advantage of it. It was so hard seeing Tim hurt, knowing she’d been the one to do it. Lately, she’d begun to wonder just why she’d accepted his proposal in the first place.

She was wondering about a lot of things, lately, like why she couldn’t seem to make even the easiest decisions, much less the tough ones. A decision not to decide is still a decision. Sarah Schuster used to say that. Jenny cringed at the remembrance. Sometimes she felt like she’d killed a part of herself, maybe the best part, when she killed Sarah Schuster. She was never so confused before.

She stood up abruptly, saved the file, and shut down the computer; then she grabbed her robe, towel, washcloth and toiletries. Tim got petulant if she used his soap or toothpaste and she supposed he had a right to feel taken advantage of. As she walked to the house, she noticed the sky: an odd charcoal grey, with thick leaden clouds scudding slowly across, west to east. At least I have the day off and no place to go, she thought. Not having a car was just one more big pain in her life right now.

Back to the showerhead, Jenny relaxed under the stinging thrum of hot water against her skin, breathing in steam and allowing her mind to go blank as she drizzled a fragrant shower gel on the sea sponge, and began to wash. She hummed as she gave herself over to pure sensations of slick lather and rough sponge on her skin…arms, legs, face, chest….

God, I am such a fucking moron! she muttered angrily as she turned off the rapidly cooling water, stepped out of the shower, and roughly toweled her skin till it was dry and friction-burned. Fuck! She winced and slathered on some body lotion, wrapped and tied the robe around her, scooped up her dirty clothes and walked stoically through the house, deliberately not looking at the new furnishings, art and other things that Tim had bought to replace “their” things.